Clean shirt, new shoes
And I dont know where I am goin to.
Silk suit, black tie,I dont need a reason why.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.
Gold watch, diamond ring,
I aint missin a single thing.
And cufflinks, stick pin,
When I step out Im gonna do you in.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.
Top coat, top hat,
I dont worry coz my wallets fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin sharp and lookin for love.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl grazy bout a sharp dressed man.
Billy Gibbons and the band ZZ Top may not have known what they were speaking about in the hair dept., but I have to agree with their thoughts involving the clothes dept. There really isn't anything sexier then a man who is well dressed.
You know where this going, I ran into someone who wasn't.
Standing on the Metro and scopin' the joint out I came across a guy with a cute mug. (I couldn't check out my Merriam Webster's word-of-the-day because for some reason it didn't get emailed to me at 4-thirty in the morning like it normally does.) So this guy is catching my eye. Nice hair cut, (at least there was hair to cut, right?), good features, brown eyes and that's all I could make out. From the collar down was a mystery because the train was jammed with rush hour DC'ers. For a moment I'm hopeful, could there be a cute guys on the red line after all?
After bobbing and ducking and trying to reposition my stance through the Woodley Park stop, we finally arrive at my destination, Dupont Circle. It's like a cattle call getting off at this stop. All of us vying for the same resources-the one escalator to get us up out of there and back to street level. Alas, I find cute guy and jockey my way past girls walking too slow in their 4" heels to get smack dab behind him. I look to the left as he places his south paw on the railing, no ring. So far so good. We ride the escalator to the top and I look DOWN, to his feet that it is, and what a sight I see. 4 Words: Faded Wrinkled Short Khakis.
Gross.
Wrinkled clothes drive me nuts, but old khakis, too? The only thing that could have possibly brought this outfit any further embarrassment would have been a pair of white socks and Doc Martins. Memorized by the shortness of his pants I realized that they were a good 1.5" away from the top of shoes, in other words they didn't break. I remember learning that expression at the tailor's once when getting some jeans hemmed. He pointed out that I needed them brought up just a tad so that they would still "break" even when I wore heels. Every Mom should teach their boys, (and girls), that lesson, "pants break Junior and if they're not breaking, then they must be shorts."
Just the thought of a guy wearing khaki pants reminds me of late 90's GAP associate. Even they don't wear them anymore. Grant it, in Italy guys wear capris and they don't break. But Italians are the fashion rulers of the world and they can get away with it. American guys in capris? Not sure many can pull it off or should even attempt such a feat.
This is just further reinforcement to all men out there who do not have a woman to QC their outfits prior to heading out the door:
Invest in a Full Length Mirror. Next to an iron, it will be the best $10 you spend on your wardrobe maintenance.
Enjoy the weekend!
Work Hard-Play Harder-Laugh the Hardest
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