When I was little my Mom and Dad would take my sister and I out to dinner on Saturday nights once in a while. We always went to the same place, The Sunset. My Mom always ordered seafood or fish, my Dad usually had some type of Surf 'N Turf and my sister and I typically experimented. I often explored Italian food like Veal Parmigiana. That quickly ended once I realized what goes on behind the scenes to produce veal.
I would eat as much as I could and still have a ton leftover on my plate. My Dad would say, "That's all you're going to eat?" and I would force myself to take a few more bites. My Mom had, and still does have, a huge sweet tooth. She loved dessert and always looked forward to it. Sometime I would try to eat a sundae or a piece of cake but was never very successful. My Dad never ordered dessert because he knew that between the three of us there would be more than enough.
After dinner we had a certain "ritual" if you will. We did the same thing every time like clockwork. My sister and I would be the first to give up, put our forks down and slouch back in our seats. Then my Mom would follow suit, only she would say something really dramatic like, "I'm so full, I feel like a stuffed cow." My Dad would look at her and say something to the effect of, "Oh you didn't have that much to eat!" He would pay the bill and our bloated family would head home.
From these outings I learned many things besides where veal comes from. I learned that I didn't like the feeling of being full. In fact, I hated it. Being full and having a stomach ache because you ate too much just seemed like such a stupid thing to do to yourself. As I got older I became more aware of that feeling. I realized that before you get full, you get to a point where you are satisfied. You're no longer hungry, you're craving has been met and you are 100% satisfied.
Satisfied? Well that doesn't sound like any fun does it? Even the word satisfactory makes us cringe and sets into motion a self analysis of what we could have done better or how we could improve. No one wants to be satisfied. We learn at a young age that we want more...we want to be super-sized...we want to be full. The problem occurs when this transcends food and controls other parts of our life and our happiness.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way we could monitor our "hunger" if you will, for everything in life, besides food? When do we get to a point where we are satisfied with the other parts? And is it bad to be satisfied? Do we always need something better, something new? Will we ever look at our job and be satisfied with our work or will we always wonder if there is a better position out there? Will we ever be satisfied with our paycheck or will we always be hungry to make more money? Do we see ourselves ever being happy with the amount of cars or shoes or clothes we have? When do we get to that point, that critical point of just being satisfied?
Being satisfied isn't bad but we are trained to go beyond satisfactory with everything. We don't settle for a satisfactory anything, we know there has to be something bigger, better and more expensive out there. How do we train ourselves to be happy with the four pairs of black shoes we already have at home? Or the 5000 songs that we already have on our iPod? I don't know if there is a way of getting that sense of fulfillment by looking at the "stuff" we already own, but wouldn't it be nice if it was just as easy as having too much chocolate cake?
It's a muddled and equally dangerous line that we walk between the feeling of stuffed and the feeling of content. "Being happy with what you already have" sounds like such easy advice but it may just be the hardest advice to follow.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
R E S P E C T: FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS
Dear Prospective Employer,
Though I appreciate the opportunity to be invited in for an interview, I think we both know without any hesitation that this relationship just isn't going to work. I feel confident that you will not be giving me an offer but in turn I would like to offer you the following words of wisdom.
For starters, never begin the interview with, "And you are....oh, right, right,...did I tell you to come in today?" It gives one the feeling that you are less then prepared to have a conversation let alone excited about it. Also, when we sit down you should be looking at me and my portfolio, not looking around the room or in your case down the hall. I understand interviewing is not easy, but put yourself in my shoes. If every time I look up and see you look past me in hopes of catching the eye of another colleague to pull into the room, what's the point of me even talking at all? In fact, why the hell did I lug this huge portfolio and 3 sets of construction drawings all the way down here if you're not even going to give me the common courtesy of eye contact. I got more attention from the construction workers on the corner of Connecticut and L walking over here.
Second point: Don't make "uuuu huh" the only response you give as I show you page after page of my portfolio. This is the part where you make comments, ask questions about my work, and yes, pretend to be interested and slightly impressed.
Third point: When you stood up and walked out of the room and then came back in and sat down without even saying "excuse me" or "sorry about that", it kind of pissed me off. I believe I was in the middle of speaking and you WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
Fourth point: Bringing people into the interview after it's started without introducing them to me, but handing them a copy of my resume and expecting me to just keep on speaking, is extremely rude. Who are these people and why did you make a point to wave them down and bring them in here? Are we trading horses here? Do you want to look at my teeth, too?
Fifth point: As architects you should be keenly aware of one of the fundamental properties of glass---it's reflective. If you make a weird face or point at me after I've left the room I can still see your reflection in the glass across the hallway. And by the way, you're a jack ass for doing that.
Last point: I think we both knew after the first 5 minutes, or rather the first 5 times I caught you looking off into space, that this just wasn't a good fit. We should have just cut the tie right then and there. You could have gone back to your desk and Facebooked and I could have gone over to Lucky Bar where they have a killer happy hour special that starts at 4 o'clock.
Oh, and one last thing. You may want to refrain from asking someone, (after they've told you they were laid off), if they thought it was performance related rather lack of work. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be broadcasting that to a perspective employer now would I? ("Actually, I was 'let go' because the boss found out I was a closet alcoholic and discovered the bottle of Jack Daniels in my desk. But for the purposes of this interview, I was laid off." wink wink)
Interviews can be fun when you realize the job isn't for you.
Though I appreciate the opportunity to be invited in for an interview, I think we both know without any hesitation that this relationship just isn't going to work. I feel confident that you will not be giving me an offer but in turn I would like to offer you the following words of wisdom.
For starters, never begin the interview with, "And you are....oh, right, right,...did I tell you to come in today?" It gives one the feeling that you are less then prepared to have a conversation let alone excited about it. Also, when we sit down you should be looking at me and my portfolio, not looking around the room or in your case down the hall. I understand interviewing is not easy, but put yourself in my shoes. If every time I look up and see you look past me in hopes of catching the eye of another colleague to pull into the room, what's the point of me even talking at all? In fact, why the hell did I lug this huge portfolio and 3 sets of construction drawings all the way down here if you're not even going to give me the common courtesy of eye contact. I got more attention from the construction workers on the corner of Connecticut and L walking over here.
Second point: Don't make "uuuu huh" the only response you give as I show you page after page of my portfolio. This is the part where you make comments, ask questions about my work, and yes, pretend to be interested and slightly impressed.
Third point: When you stood up and walked out of the room and then came back in and sat down without even saying "excuse me" or "sorry about that", it kind of pissed me off. I believe I was in the middle of speaking and you WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM.
Fourth point: Bringing people into the interview after it's started without introducing them to me, but handing them a copy of my resume and expecting me to just keep on speaking, is extremely rude. Who are these people and why did you make a point to wave them down and bring them in here? Are we trading horses here? Do you want to look at my teeth, too?
Fifth point: As architects you should be keenly aware of one of the fundamental properties of glass---it's reflective. If you make a weird face or point at me after I've left the room I can still see your reflection in the glass across the hallway. And by the way, you're a jack ass for doing that.
Last point: I think we both knew after the first 5 minutes, or rather the first 5 times I caught you looking off into space, that this just wasn't a good fit. We should have just cut the tie right then and there. You could have gone back to your desk and Facebooked and I could have gone over to Lucky Bar where they have a killer happy hour special that starts at 4 o'clock.
Oh, and one last thing. You may want to refrain from asking someone, (after they've told you they were laid off), if they thought it was performance related rather lack of work. If I did, I certainly wouldn't be broadcasting that to a perspective employer now would I? ("Actually, I was 'let go' because the boss found out I was a closet alcoholic and discovered the bottle of Jack Daniels in my desk. But for the purposes of this interview, I was laid off." wink wink)
Interviews can be fun when you realize the job isn't for you.
All That Separates Me from Inspiration is a Short Ride on the Red Line
Ode to the Rude Metro Rider
While riding on the train
I had sanitizer on my brain
Millions of minor pet peeves
Suddenly made me want to heave
Dirty hands too many to count
Dirty minds seem to surround
Now on top of this phobia I need to heed
The whereabouts of your grubby feet
Sitting room is a rare find
So why must you steal this room from my behind
Creatures and germs surely abound
Why can't you please keep your feet on the ground
Turn your music down
Stop acting like a clown
Take your ear buds out
And you won't have to shout
Cursing and yelling as if in your own home
Instead of an adult who is almost fully grown
So before you take your feet off the ground
Ask if you would do this if your Mom was around
Though your brain is feeling mushy
Please be mindful that my tushey
Does not choose to take that seat
Where you so casually placed your gnarly feet
While riding on the train
I had sanitizer on my brain
Millions of minor pet peeves
Suddenly made me want to heave
Dirty hands too many to count
Dirty minds seem to surround
Now on top of this phobia I need to heed
The whereabouts of your grubby feet
Sitting room is a rare find
So why must you steal this room from my behind
Creatures and germs surely abound
Why can't you please keep your feet on the ground
Turn your music down
Stop acting like a clown
Take your ear buds out
And you won't have to shout
Cursing and yelling as if in your own home
Instead of an adult who is almost fully grown
So before you take your feet off the ground
Ask if you would do this if your Mom was around
Though your brain is feeling mushy
Please be mindful that my tushey
Does not choose to take that seat
Where you so casually placed your gnarly feet
Monday, September 14, 2009
Up and coming urban trend or economic indicator of struggling market?
Maybe I'm just really old and out of the loop or maybe the economy has hit an all time low.
This story begins on my favorite, and only, form of transportation in DC...the Metro. Last Friday on my way downtown I hopped on the red line in a fairly crowded car, (read: Marianne applies hand sanitizer). I sat down in back of a typical 20-something, well dressed, nicely groomed, most likely heading to the Hill, gentleman. He was doing what I like to call, "seat blocking". He sat on the outside and piled all of his crap on the inside seat so no one would bug him to move over. He had his dry cleaning on top of laptop bag. His arm was stretched around the back of the seat as if he was on a date with his clothes. He sat back real low and had his legs spread real wide with one long lanky leg hanging out in the aisle.
He had thick dark hair that had way too much product in it. You can tell someone has too much product when you can see those tiny white clumps that look like lint all through their hair. On the back of his neck was a giant pimple that I kept finding my eyes drawn to; it was big. Most likely caused from too much product collecting at the base of his hair line. Upon further inspection I found some other oddities about this guy.
For starters, I'm quite certain a bird had recently defecated on the back of his shirt, unbeknownst to him. I can only assume that was the cause of said stain after a recent run in this summer with a bird of my own. I was at my sister's pool after my surgery, just trying to relax, lay still and not jump around when all of a sudden I awoke to a wet, warm puddle on my neck and collar bone. You would have thought the bird that bombed on me was carrying a water balloon. It was massive, voluminous and absolutely vile. That color, that disgusting putrid color, will forever be cemented in my mind and that's the color I saw on this guy's shirt.
Now the next part is even more disgusting, and I'm not making this up.
When it gets hot in DC, it gets hot. Usually the Metro is not air conditioned for one reason or another and that day was no exception. Like everyone else on the train, this guy was sweating up a storm. I could see him searching in his bag and he pulled something out and dabbed his glistening forehead. I didn't really think much of it until after the second time when I could see the fabric of his alleged "handkerchief". Wait a minute, did I just see golf balls and clubs? I watched as he blotted again and then he unfolded the material and my suspicions were confirmed: This guy was using a pair of boxer shorts as a hanky!
My face automatically scrunched up as if I smelled something bad. He kept folding and unfolding the boxer shorts as if he was trying to disguise them. But it was too late, I was on to him and I'm pretty sure the old lady sitting across from me noticed, too. I realize we are all trying to pinch pennies, but you should never be putting your face on a garment that goes in that place, ever.
A better solution may be to use a little less product if he's trying to save some cash.
This story begins on my favorite, and only, form of transportation in DC...the Metro. Last Friday on my way downtown I hopped on the red line in a fairly crowded car, (read: Marianne applies hand sanitizer). I sat down in back of a typical 20-something, well dressed, nicely groomed, most likely heading to the Hill, gentleman. He was doing what I like to call, "seat blocking". He sat on the outside and piled all of his crap on the inside seat so no one would bug him to move over. He had his dry cleaning on top of laptop bag. His arm was stretched around the back of the seat as if he was on a date with his clothes. He sat back real low and had his legs spread real wide with one long lanky leg hanging out in the aisle.
He had thick dark hair that had way too much product in it. You can tell someone has too much product when you can see those tiny white clumps that look like lint all through their hair. On the back of his neck was a giant pimple that I kept finding my eyes drawn to; it was big. Most likely caused from too much product collecting at the base of his hair line. Upon further inspection I found some other oddities about this guy.
For starters, I'm quite certain a bird had recently defecated on the back of his shirt, unbeknownst to him. I can only assume that was the cause of said stain after a recent run in this summer with a bird of my own. I was at my sister's pool after my surgery, just trying to relax, lay still and not jump around when all of a sudden I awoke to a wet, warm puddle on my neck and collar bone. You would have thought the bird that bombed on me was carrying a water balloon. It was massive, voluminous and absolutely vile. That color, that disgusting putrid color, will forever be cemented in my mind and that's the color I saw on this guy's shirt.
Now the next part is even more disgusting, and I'm not making this up.
When it gets hot in DC, it gets hot. Usually the Metro is not air conditioned for one reason or another and that day was no exception. Like everyone else on the train, this guy was sweating up a storm. I could see him searching in his bag and he pulled something out and dabbed his glistening forehead. I didn't really think much of it until after the second time when I could see the fabric of his alleged "handkerchief". Wait a minute, did I just see golf balls and clubs? I watched as he blotted again and then he unfolded the material and my suspicions were confirmed: This guy was using a pair of boxer shorts as a hanky!
My face automatically scrunched up as if I smelled something bad. He kept folding and unfolding the boxer shorts as if he was trying to disguise them. But it was too late, I was on to him and I'm pretty sure the old lady sitting across from me noticed, too. I realize we are all trying to pinch pennies, but you should never be putting your face on a garment that goes in that place, ever.
A better solution may be to use a little less product if he's trying to save some cash.
I've Got Madd Skillz!
Sometimes when I'm writing I like to pretend that I'm speaking to the masses and everyone I know reads this blog religiously so you're aware of my day-to-day trials and triumphs. I know I'm reaching high with that goal, so to keep all of you up to speed I was recently laid off. Nothing unusual there as I'm sure some of you are in the same predicament as me.
The day I departed my firm I asked the gentlemen who were laying me off, exactly what I could have done to avoid this and why I was on that list. Their response to me was, "We looked at the work coming in and had to best match it up according to each employee's skill level." I squinted, stared, paused for a second and said, "So are you saying after 3 years my skills are no longer useful?" They quickly retracted their comment and admitted that it didn't come out the way they intended it, but it was too late the damage was done. My ego was pulverized into a million little pieces and then scattered all over the conference table waiting to get swept up and dumped in the trash.
I've spent some time thinking about the skills that I have and what other jobs I could acquire without obtaining any further education. I think two markets that I seriously need to pursue are the Game Show and Reality Show sectors. I would kick ass at Wheel of Fortune and for reality shows I would love to participate in The Amazing Race. (That requires a partner and I'm not sure who I could pair with?)
The other great skill I have is cleaning. I've consider advertising for a service where someone cooks for me and I clean up after, and we both split the costs of food. I don't know of anyone looking for this service but if you know of someone who would be interested you should let me know. Initially I probably wouldn't be able to pay just because I'm seriously stretched for dollars right now, but once I'm back on my feet I can definitely hand over some Benjamin's or George's.
Other skills include: crossword puzzles, name-that-tune, movie quotes, people watching, recycling, hitting snooze, burning popcorn, screaming at spiders, opening wine, dispensing hand sanitizer, eliminating non-sense, telling people when they're rude, holding doors for people, saying thank you, smiling like I mean it, finding good coffee and holding a one-armed push-up for 5 minutes, (no not really).
I may not be able to get paid for any of those skills, but they are skills. Not having a project that I could apply those skills to at my former office, well then, that's their loss. Lots of money to be made these days screaming at spiders.
I use to end each post with, "Work Hard, Play Harder, Laugh the Hardest". But I'm not so sure working hard really pays off anymore? Laughing however, reaps instant rewards and gives your core a good workout, too.
The day I departed my firm I asked the gentlemen who were laying me off, exactly what I could have done to avoid this and why I was on that list. Their response to me was, "We looked at the work coming in and had to best match it up according to each employee's skill level." I squinted, stared, paused for a second and said, "So are you saying after 3 years my skills are no longer useful?" They quickly retracted their comment and admitted that it didn't come out the way they intended it, but it was too late the damage was done. My ego was pulverized into a million little pieces and then scattered all over the conference table waiting to get swept up and dumped in the trash.
I've spent some time thinking about the skills that I have and what other jobs I could acquire without obtaining any further education. I think two markets that I seriously need to pursue are the Game Show and Reality Show sectors. I would kick ass at Wheel of Fortune and for reality shows I would love to participate in The Amazing Race. (That requires a partner and I'm not sure who I could pair with?)
The other great skill I have is cleaning. I've consider advertising for a service where someone cooks for me and I clean up after, and we both split the costs of food. I don't know of anyone looking for this service but if you know of someone who would be interested you should let me know. Initially I probably wouldn't be able to pay just because I'm seriously stretched for dollars right now, but once I'm back on my feet I can definitely hand over some Benjamin's or George's.
Other skills include: crossword puzzles, name-that-tune, movie quotes, people watching, recycling, hitting snooze, burning popcorn, screaming at spiders, opening wine, dispensing hand sanitizer, eliminating non-sense, telling people when they're rude, holding doors for people, saying thank you, smiling like I mean it, finding good coffee and holding a one-armed push-up for 5 minutes, (no not really).
I may not be able to get paid for any of those skills, but they are skills. Not having a project that I could apply those skills to at my former office, well then, that's their loss. Lots of money to be made these days screaming at spiders.
I use to end each post with, "Work Hard, Play Harder, Laugh the Hardest". But I'm not so sure working hard really pays off anymore? Laughing however, reaps instant rewards and gives your core a good workout, too.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Classes I wish I took in College
Often I find myself thinking about the skills I use on a day to day basis and the skills I've learned in school. I was never a big fan of classes that revolved around theories. When have theories ever helped anyone? I had to take a class at UB titled, Communication Theory. It put me to sleep every Tuesday and Thursday for 2.5 hours. It was awful and absolutley useless.
There are so many curved balls thrown at us everyday and knowing how to even begin assesing a spontaneous situation is one of the most critical skills you can learn. Below is my list of classes they should teach in college to assist with real life dilemmas:
1. How to File for Unemployment 101: What you need to know to get your weekly check
2. Networking: Making the Most of Your Contacts
3. Garage Sale Management: Knowing what to charge for your junk
4. Negotiating Your Salary: Determining how much your worth and asking for it
5. Financial Planning for People Who Hate Numbers: The Basics of 401K & IRA's
6. Dealing with Difficult People at Work: How to keep things cool when you want to get violent
7. Living Within Your Means: How to fight the urge "To Keep Up with the Joneses"
8. How to relocate to a new city
9. Identifying careers that pay well and will always be in need
10. Mistakes to avoid in your 20's
There are so many curved balls thrown at us everyday and knowing how to even begin assesing a spontaneous situation is one of the most critical skills you can learn. Below is my list of classes they should teach in college to assist with real life dilemmas:
1. How to File for Unemployment 101: What you need to know to get your weekly check
2. Networking: Making the Most of Your Contacts
3. Garage Sale Management: Knowing what to charge for your junk
4. Negotiating Your Salary: Determining how much your worth and asking for it
5. Financial Planning for People Who Hate Numbers: The Basics of 401K & IRA's
6. Dealing with Difficult People at Work: How to keep things cool when you want to get violent
7. Living Within Your Means: How to fight the urge "To Keep Up with the Joneses"
8. How to relocate to a new city
9. Identifying careers that pay well and will always be in need
10. Mistakes to avoid in your 20's
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