Colds Blow, Literally.

If you're reading this then consider yourself one of the people that I am close to in life. I've joked around with most of you throwing out random threats of writing my own blog. Well, after spending 2 days at home on my sofa I've crossed off a lot on my To Do list. It was either this or start copying all of my cds on to my hard drive so I can finally update my iPod. Writing just seemed more interesting.

Having a cold really blows.

I got one on Monday and of course it festered until Wednesday night and then it hit me full force. I made two trips to CVS for necessary supplies. I have gone through 3 boxes of tissues in the past 48 hours. But finally, finally I purchased the miracle drug: Aleve D. This shit kicks ass!

The transaction was a little shady by Cleveland Park standards I must say. Prior to going back to the pharmacy counter to get the advice from a pro, I stood in the cold medicine aisle eyeing up my choices. Brand Name vs. Generic; Pills vs. Liquids. So many options. Knowing that I'm not good at making quick purchases I planted extra tissues in the front pocket of my hoodie. (Yes, I actually wore a hoodie to the store.) Low and behold I go into sneezing fit number 675 of the day right there in the middle of the aisle. I admit, it was gross. When you have a cold and you get one of those powerful sneezes you have no idea what could come out of your head. Unfortunately for the lady standing next to me she saw a bit too much. Before I could grab my tissue I heard her mutter, "Oh, gross!" But what could I do and at that point in my cold state I was in no shape to try to make excuses. I blew my nose loud enough for her and the rest of the store to hear and I really didn't care.

I stumble up to the Pharmacist, of course he's on the phone. He gives me that look everyone does when they are trying to multi-task while on the phone but they don't want the person on the line to know. You know the body language, you raise your eyebrows and head simultaneously as if to say to me, "What's up?" I push in front of him my generic selection of Nyquil and a coupon I have for Aleve D which I couldn't find on the shelf. He pushes aside the generic and eyes up my red nose and crumpled up tissue in my hand. "You need this" and he points to the coupon. "But where can I find it it's not on the shelf?" "Oh, we only carry that stuff behind the counter, not here but up front." He goes back to talking on the phone and I head to the snack aisle. I grab Combos, Kraft Easy Mac and 4 bottles of Gatorade.

When I get to the front I hand my coupon to the cashier. I felt like I was performing some illicit transaction. I say, "I hear you guys only carry this stuff up front?" He turns around and asks me what kind I want, apparently there more options. I point to a box, he scans it and suddenly the register starts making those beeps that mean more information needed. He looks at me and asks, "You over the age of 18?" I laugh and say, "Of course, look at me but why do you need to know?" He says they can't sell that stuff to people under 18. I reply, "Wow this must be good shit!" He just kindly smiled and pointed to the key pad in front of me. You know where you usually sign for your debit card, only it had this huge WARNING on the screen. Cash register guy says, "you need to show ID and sign." He take my ID and scans it and another screen appears where I have to sign. I'm very intrigued with what I'm about to purchase. Lots of steps, secret location, plus an age requirement, this stuff has to work!

I grab my goods, secret drugs, Kraft Mac and all, and get the hell out of dodge. Once home I take my first Aleve D. Within 2 hours something spectacular happened I could breathe out of one nostril and then an hour later I could breathe out of the other, too. Breathing has never felt so good. My head feels normal again and I've actually been able to move from room to room without a tissue supply in hand.

Tonight I'm going to sleep good.
So remember, you've got a cold, go to the front of the store, not the cold medicine aisle, and ask for Aleve D. And don't forget your ID.