Life can change in the blink of an eye. We go through ups and downs and sometimes really low points. Sometimes you're riding a wave, you're perched up high taking in all the views of the beach and you have the wind at your back. Other times you're riding in the waves. You're struggling and keeping up the best you can all the while still keeping an eye on the shore and seeing the sun shine through murky waters. And then there are the other times. The times where you're not on the wave, you're not in the wave, you've been knocked the hell over by a big ass wave. You're left laying on the beach, bruised and sunburned with the dried up jelly fish and seaweed.
It makes me recall a trip to Ocean City with an ex-boyfriend. It was the middle of summer and hot as hell. He went running into the ocean with no fear. Skeptical of the water temperature, I first stuck one foot in and then the other. Getting in up to my knees I realized my boyfriend was past the point where the waves broke and out in the calm waters. I on the other hand, precariously stood in the middle of the breaking point. I took my eyes off of him, off of the horizon and made one stupid move---I did absolutely nothing. I stood and watched as the biggest wave I've ever seen grew closer and bigger and then it happened. I got knocked the 'eff over!
I'll never forget laying on the ocean floor and looking up to see the water going over my body. My boyfriend ran over and helped me get up. He said the look on my face screamed one word: Bewilderment. I stood there shaking, blinking and trying to adjust my vision, (I actually lost a contact in the process), adjusting my top that was hiked up to my chin which made for lots of gasps from the Mom's on the beach and pulling my bikini bottom out of my ass that felt like it was in my throat. I easily deposited a pound of sand back in the hotel shower when I was finally able to disrobe. The point is not the visual that I'm sure all of you have right now, the point is that this happened because I wasn't paying attention. Life is always "happening" even when we are not paying attention or prepared for the unexpected. Again, trains move.
The unexpected happened to me last week when I walked into the conference room at my office and the Principal's told me I was being laid off. I sat there and felt the same feelings come over me, the feeling of being knocked over by a wave, the feeling of absolute bewilderment. I sat there thinking, what just happened here? I'm getting laid off? What do you mean I'm getting laid off, I was just here working late last night? You must have meant to dial someone else's extension because I think there was a serious error here. I made the conscious decision to not breakdown and get all girly and emotional in front of the "men". I will let the people who care about me see that side of me, but not these two; I'm going to make this as difficult as possible for them. I went on and said my peace to them, slightly mouthy and somewhat rude but anyway, I then stood up and said, "Is this the part where I'm supposed to say thank you?" It sounded a little superficial, I wanted to say, "thank you for letting me work my ass off for 3 years and then laying me off, it's really been great. No, no, the pleasure was all mine, honestly. I've thoroughly enjoyed being under appreciated, underutilized and grossly underpaid." I'm just sayin'.
I was hoping to walk out of the room and see Ashton Kutcher crouching behind one of the lateral files ready to jump out and say I've been "punked". There was no one being punked though, it was just me filling the role of a "punk". Every experience is an experience and from it I have the following lessons learned:
1. Always have your resume updated; thanks Aman. My neighbor offered me lots of great advice and one of the things she said was, "You always think you're going to leave on your own terms." Unfortunately, these are not the times we live in.
2. Your career should never be the most important thing in your life. If it is then you are in trouble.
3. Care about people, not places.
4. Looking for your next job needs to be done while you have a job. No matter how happy and secure you think you are, there are always waves on the horizon waiting to knock you down.
5. Everyone is a resource: be it words of support, job leads or just someone to laugh with over a glass of sangria.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out, even if I haven't responded.
Standing on the beach and getting ready to to take surf lessons,
Mw
