For the past year and a half I have volunteered at Learning Ally, formerly Reading for the Blind & Dyslexic. As the name implies, my efforts go into helping the blind and dyslexic community by reading textbooks, novels, and short stories that are recorded and put on tape. I guarantee that I get much more out of this process than the individuals who are subjected to listening to my voice guide them through their psychology text book or social studies lesson. I go in once a week and even though my commute or the stresses of the day may make me a little frazzled when I arrive, I always leave feeling relaxed and at peace. The older I get the more I seem to be looking for this in my life. A sense of peace in everything I do. My interactions with friends, family, coworkers, my job, my neighbors, I strive to find peace in everything. Sometimes I fail miserably, but on nights that I volunteer I do find that sense of peace. If I miss the train as I head back to my apartment and have to wait 10 minutes then so be it. I have to learn to accept that sometimes we are not in the driver’s seat, we are just the passenger. I secretly believe this is why we have smart phones and reading material (like this blog), to keep us occupied when we are waiting for trains…..or doctors.
Earlier in the month Learning Ally asked me to attend their annual spring gala at The House of Sweden. I was really excited to go to such a fancy event. Dressing up is always fun, especially when you have a sister who can style you for anything and loves to shop, (thanks again, Gab). The nice thing about going to events by yourself is that you pretty much operate on your own agenda. During the cocktail hour I bounced around and met several couples and chatted with them about Learning Ally. (They had no idea what the organization did and were given tickets through their employers who bought tables.) Everyone I met was about my age or a bit older and they were all very pleasant to chat with and very nice.
Little did I know that the most extraordinary people I would meet would be fellow volunteers.
The lights flickered for everyone to move to the downstairs dining area. I found my table and introduced myself to the other volunteers and their guests; they were all couples. Most of the people at the table were on the other side of 65. I found a chair next to Ed. Ed had a face that was a combination of Donald Sutherland with a Jack Nicholson smile; I felt at ease immediately. We discussed the obvious, how long we have each volunteered and why we started volunteering in the first place. I learned a lot about Ed. He volunteered with his wife, Mary, who was sitting on the other side of him and as equally charming. They put my volunteer hours to shame when they told me that they would go in to the studio for 4 hours every Tuesday afternoon. They both shared a passion for reading and learning which was evident in their conversation and speech. They were both so easy to talk to, I didn’t have to raise my voice for them to hear me, they were sharp and witty, and best of all they thought I was funny.
I learned that Ed used to be a professor of American Literature at American University. He left teaching to pursue a career in the Foreign Service. He had traveled the world and been to so many extraordinary places. I found myself hanging on his every word as he told me of all the places he had visited and the countries he has lived in over the course of his employment. Mary was also in the Foreign Service and they met in Beirut. She said, “You see, I had to go halfway around the world to meet the love of my life!” The remark made me smile as she reached over and held Ed’s hand.
Ed told me about his two sons and grandchildren. Mary and Ed were planning a trip out west to Colorado to see one of their sons and his family for a week. They had a granddaughter who was graduating from high school. They told me the names and ages of all 5 grandchildren and what each one of them was doing. It was clear they were very proud of their family.
I asked Ed what other things he does during the day since he was retired. He responded, “Well, we spend a lot of time going to the doctors, you know that’s what happens when you get old.” He then disclosed that he has diabetes and Mary has bone cancer in her hip. She walks with a cane and has difficulty getting around sometimes. I told him about my back surgery a few years ago. I explained that after the experience I never took for granted the gift of mobility and that being able to get around on your own two feet is a blessing every day. He nodded and agreed with me.
The next thing out of Ed’s mouth struck me. “I’m very blessed and I’ve lived a great life. I have seen so many wonderful places and I have a lot of happy memories.” At first it made me sad to hear him say this because I felt like he was talking about his life in the past tense. But I realized that he was simply accepting his own mortality and that someday, who knows when, he was going to perish. The weight of this message wasn’t just carried in what he said; it was how he said it.
Ed was at peace.
I realized while sitting next to him that I, too, was at peace. I think that’s what we all want when we get older and have checked off the boxes on our bucket list. We are simply looking for a sense of peace in what we’ve done with our time here in this life and we are looking for love from those that are surrounding us.
My mom turned 70 last year. My family gathered and had a special dinner for her at a restaurant in my home town. During the dinner I looked around the table at all of my siblings and their families. A lot of my nieces and nephews are grown up and are, (dare I say), adults. It made me sad because I know if they are getting old, then I’m getting old. But it also made me excited. Excited to wonder what is in store for them and where their path in life will lead them.
I think it must be a pretty amazing accomplishment when you’re 70 to look around a big dining room table of people and know that you’re the reason why all these people came together and will continue to be bonded forever. I think if everyone started out their lives and careers with the pursuit of peace for when they turn 70, 80, or 90, we probably would do things a little differently. But we would probably miss out on a lot of important life lessons at the same time.
To everyone who reads this blog, I wish you a long life that takes you on a journey which not only satisfies your curiosities and passions but finds you at a dinner table many years from now, old, really old, with lots and lots of wrinkles and incredible stories that you’re willing to share with a complete stranger. I wish that you’re able to emit the same amount of peace that Ed did, and absorb the same amount of love in return.
Laughter…..Love…….Peace.
