The source of my story: The Metro
The setting: Metro Center,(aka the armpit of the DC metro system), rush hour
As any avid metro rider in DC knows, Metro Center during rush hour is a cluster. In fact it's the worst part of my commute. Not so much the red line or the orange line, (though the orange line always smells vile), but the transition from one to the other. Tonight like any other night, I follow the cattle call of commuters from downstairs to upstairs and wait to get on the red line. The train pulls up, about a dozen or so of us go to get on, but then we stop. I mean we just STOPPED. I see people twisting and turning and picking up their purses and bags as if playing a vertical game of Twister and wonder, what the 'eff is taking so long?
I then get my turn to "board" if you will, and see firsthand the center of this commuting chaos. (If you've never been on the metro, or any subway for that matter let me take a minute to describe what it should look like: Double automated doors that open in the middle which are opposite to another set of double automated doors that are closed; or at least they should be closed. If both sets of doors are ever open you should pull that emergency handle or get on the big red phone and let the operator know asap b/c you're on messed up train.) Typically people who are getting off in one or two stops will "hover" by the doors b/c they don't want to get stuck in the middle of the train. But the eye of the storm for this bottle necking wasn't a bunch of "hoverer's" it was a woman, middle aged, with a TON OF STUFF.
What kinds of stuff you ask? Let's see she had an enormous suitcase, two large tote bags, a purse, oh and a D Y S O N V A C U U M cleaner!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, the vacuum with the "balls". This woman had all of these things, was the first one to jump on the train, (while there were still people trying to get off mind you), and parks herself right to the left of the doors. Every single person from the group I was with had to do the "twist" in order to get around her. How can one person be that ignorant to not see how much of an obstruction they're causing to dozens of other commuters? I didn't get it. Instead I sat there and watched.
You want to know what she did next? AFTER everyone got on, she moved the herd of bags to the other side of the train and blocked the other set of doors. Coincidentally, those were the doors that opened at the next stop. Again I watched groups of strangers do the side step and "shimmy to the left, shimmy to the right" just to get around this lady.
But wait, there's more.
At the next stop, she decides she's sick of standing. So she goes and grabs a seat, not right next to her stuff, not one away from her stuff, she grabs a seat that is 3 ROWS AWAY from her belongings. Yes, I said that right, she was separated from her sh*t by three rows b/c she left all of it, (let's review: large suitcase, two totes and a D Y S O N), by the doors. Her ass was sitting down three rows back and her crap was all up in everyone's face unattended.
I didn't get it! I didn't know if I should be more floored by her audacity to carry such large items on a crowded train during rush hour or her ignorance in leaving them out in the way for anyone to take and for everyone to navigate around? I was tempted to grab it on my way off, wheel it to the middle of the platform and wave to her as she sat there on the train.
Hey Lady with the Dyson: If you have the money to cough up for a Dyson Vacuum, then you certainly have the coin to pay for a cab home. You're a douche who has a vacuum cleaner with a higher IQ than your own.
My two words for you are: Thank You. Thank you for giving me something to blog about. I'm pretty sure the other commuters on the train would be swapping the "thank" for another word though.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Repeat After Me: I Am Beautiful.
I woke up this morning to a constellation of pimples around my mouth in a very bizarre similarity to The Little Dipper. I thought to myself, "what in the world did I eat to give me such a strange allergic reaction?" And you know what? I was pissed.
I'm weeks shy from celebrating my 35th birthday and the word acne was not supposed to be a part of my common verbiage. But there it was as plain as day and I became consumed on camouflaging them in order to look presentable for work. At that moment, I tuned into the segment I was listening to on the Today show, (a morning routine for me). Some of you may remember hearing the story this past February of a woman in CT who was attacked by a chimpanzee. She was actually mauled and in intensive care for months because her face was literally "ripped off". Hearing those words made me turn away from the bathroom mirror and walk into the living room. There she was, Charla Nash, the 56 year old woman who's life changed in the matter of an instance. I stood there frozen and listened to the remainder of her story on the Today show which featured the interview she did with Oprah. Moments later tears were running down my face as I tried to understand how someone has the strength to move on after experiencing such a tragedy.
I went back into the bathroom, grabbed a tissue and felt ashamed of myself for being so annoyed with a few pimples. My pimples would go away within a day or two, they are not painful and with a little make-up I can cover them up. The effects of Charla's accident forced her to walk around with a veil over her face for fear of scaring people. Read that sentence again. This poor woman's face was so mutilated that she doesn't even show it in public without putting a veil over it. My heart sank deeper and deeper into my stomach as I thought about what pain and suffering she must have been experiencing these past 9 months. The accident took away Charla's eye lid, nose, lips and hands. After an infection spread to her eyes she had to have them removed.
Charla has a daughter who went to the prom in the spring. Her one wish was that she had seen her daughter's prom dress on her. A request that sounded so simple and one that most Mother's are able to fulfill.
The part that hit me the hardest was when she said she has no anger about what happened to her. Her life was never going to be the same but she was determined to be on the path to heal and not spend energy being bitter.
There are so many lessons to learn from Charla. I keep thinking about her story and her courage. If everyone followed the same approach towards people when they have wronged us, think about how many problems would be solved. We wouldn't focus on the person who cut us off in traffic, we would just keep driving. We wouldn't focus on the person who is taking too long in the check out line, we would just find a gossip magazine to look through while waiting. We wouldn't put energy into the people we know are not worth putting energy into and invest our energy into those who deserve it and more importantly need it.
Be thankful for your senses and the gifts they provide you every day...
Take a deep breath in through your nose and smell your favorite perfume, coffee or wine. Smell something bad.
Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, wink and make a funny face.
Smooch your loved one....or your dog. Ask for one back.
Hold on to the railing, the steering wheel, the leash and the load of laundry because you have two hands and ten fingers to help you. Sign your name backwards.
Not everyone has the looks to be a super model on the outside, but all of us have what it takes to be a super hero on the inside. Beauty isn't something you see, it's something you feel.
I am wishing Charla a speedy recovery and peaceful days ahead. To read more about her story:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/connecticut_woman_reveals_her_face_UyRIAA19fOecsBDOAW6iEP
I'm weeks shy from celebrating my 35th birthday and the word acne was not supposed to be a part of my common verbiage. But there it was as plain as day and I became consumed on camouflaging them in order to look presentable for work. At that moment, I tuned into the segment I was listening to on the Today show, (a morning routine for me). Some of you may remember hearing the story this past February of a woman in CT who was attacked by a chimpanzee. She was actually mauled and in intensive care for months because her face was literally "ripped off". Hearing those words made me turn away from the bathroom mirror and walk into the living room. There she was, Charla Nash, the 56 year old woman who's life changed in the matter of an instance. I stood there frozen and listened to the remainder of her story on the Today show which featured the interview she did with Oprah. Moments later tears were running down my face as I tried to understand how someone has the strength to move on after experiencing such a tragedy.
I went back into the bathroom, grabbed a tissue and felt ashamed of myself for being so annoyed with a few pimples. My pimples would go away within a day or two, they are not painful and with a little make-up I can cover them up. The effects of Charla's accident forced her to walk around with a veil over her face for fear of scaring people. Read that sentence again. This poor woman's face was so mutilated that she doesn't even show it in public without putting a veil over it. My heart sank deeper and deeper into my stomach as I thought about what pain and suffering she must have been experiencing these past 9 months. The accident took away Charla's eye lid, nose, lips and hands. After an infection spread to her eyes she had to have them removed.
Charla has a daughter who went to the prom in the spring. Her one wish was that she had seen her daughter's prom dress on her. A request that sounded so simple and one that most Mother's are able to fulfill.
The part that hit me the hardest was when she said she has no anger about what happened to her. Her life was never going to be the same but she was determined to be on the path to heal and not spend energy being bitter.
There are so many lessons to learn from Charla. I keep thinking about her story and her courage. If everyone followed the same approach towards people when they have wronged us, think about how many problems would be solved. We wouldn't focus on the person who cut us off in traffic, we would just keep driving. We wouldn't focus on the person who is taking too long in the check out line, we would just find a gossip magazine to look through while waiting. We wouldn't put energy into the people we know are not worth putting energy into and invest our energy into those who deserve it and more importantly need it.
Be thankful for your senses and the gifts they provide you every day...
Take a deep breath in through your nose and smell your favorite perfume, coffee or wine. Smell something bad.
Look at yourself in the mirror, smile, wink and make a funny face.
Smooch your loved one....or your dog. Ask for one back.
Hold on to the railing, the steering wheel, the leash and the load of laundry because you have two hands and ten fingers to help you. Sign your name backwards.
Not everyone has the looks to be a super model on the outside, but all of us have what it takes to be a super hero on the inside. Beauty isn't something you see, it's something you feel.
I am wishing Charla a speedy recovery and peaceful days ahead. To read more about her story:
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/connecticut_woman_reveals_her_face_UyRIAA19fOecsBDOAW6iEP
Monday, November 9, 2009
Surfing Lessons 101
Up until 2 weeks ago I was unemployed for 2 months.
I feel extremely fortunate in this economy to have found a job, in my field that did not require me to take drastic measures. Like anyone who has been in this situation, I had my share of ups and downs. I realized that it was equally important for me to socialize during this time period as it was for me to be surfing the web incessantly looking for a job. It's very easy to "hermitize" oneself and occupy your day with useless chores that don't really amount to anything or provide any gratification.
One ritual that I started was walking. I made myself get outside everyday for a walk in my neighborhood. It was nice to stroll down streets with no agenda or means of a shortcut, but simply to walk and to breathe fresh air. I always passed someone along the way who would say hi or a happy dog who greeted me with a wagging tail. Though these moments were fleeting, they were sometimes the extent of any human contact and real conversation that I would have for the day. Walking kept me engaged and forced me to interact in my community.
As the saying goes, "When you are given lemons you make lemonade", I too learned to adapt and use one of my greatest assets, my ingenuity. Entertainment can be expensive, especially in a city like DC, but it doesn't have to be that way. Below is a list of things that I discovered which brought me a sense of joy or a smile to my face. I want to share it in hopes that it will inspire you to look for the happiness in simplicity:
1. Pandas at The National Zoo: FREE I could watch these black and white creatures for hours. Their innocence and playfulness is a relaxing way to spend a half hour or an afternoon; I've done both.
2. Friday Night Movies on Bravo: FREE (w/cable) "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You Have Mail" have entertained me more often then I can remember.
3. Cleveland Park Wine & Spirits Friday Night Wine Tastings: FREE I think that pretty much speaks for itself. I was able to sample some new wine and chat with people like me who love wine; enough said.
4. Ice Water at Happy Hours: FREE A lot of networking events are focused on Happy Hours. If you're not careful you could blow a lot of money going to three or more a week. I learned that ice water is just as appropriate to carry around as a glass of wine. I've never been so hydrated, my skin looked decent for once and the constant trips to the ladies room always gave me an out to exit one conversation and enter a new one.
5. Celeste Frozen Pizzas. I love these things! My friend Laurin introduced them to me. They make me think of her when I heat one up and they are usually on sale 5 for 5dollars. Now that's a deal.
6. Red Box Movies at Giant: $1.99
7. The National Cathedral: FREE Many afternoons I would walk up to the Cathedral and find a quiet corner to sit and absorb the feeling of being so small in a structure that is so big. The Rose Gardens outside are also another favorite thinking spot.
8. Facial Packets from CVS: $2.00 I have no idea what brand they are but I find them in the skin care aisle at CVS. For $2 you get two applications of a mud mask or seaweed treatment. If I close my eyes, put on Enya and light some scented candles to drown out the disgusting food my neighbor upstairs cooks everyday, I can pretend I'm at a spa.
9. Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos: $2.49. The best cookie ever invented hands down.
10. A new song from iTunes: .99 All it takes is a new song or an old favorite to remind us of happier times and our mood totally changes.
Sometimes, the boundaries of happiness are limited only by the parameters of our imagination and the courage to explore our curiosity.
I feel extremely fortunate in this economy to have found a job, in my field that did not require me to take drastic measures. Like anyone who has been in this situation, I had my share of ups and downs. I realized that it was equally important for me to socialize during this time period as it was for me to be surfing the web incessantly looking for a job. It's very easy to "hermitize" oneself and occupy your day with useless chores that don't really amount to anything or provide any gratification.
One ritual that I started was walking. I made myself get outside everyday for a walk in my neighborhood. It was nice to stroll down streets with no agenda or means of a shortcut, but simply to walk and to breathe fresh air. I always passed someone along the way who would say hi or a happy dog who greeted me with a wagging tail. Though these moments were fleeting, they were sometimes the extent of any human contact and real conversation that I would have for the day. Walking kept me engaged and forced me to interact in my community.
As the saying goes, "When you are given lemons you make lemonade", I too learned to adapt and use one of my greatest assets, my ingenuity. Entertainment can be expensive, especially in a city like DC, but it doesn't have to be that way. Below is a list of things that I discovered which brought me a sense of joy or a smile to my face. I want to share it in hopes that it will inspire you to look for the happiness in simplicity:
1. Pandas at The National Zoo: FREE I could watch these black and white creatures for hours. Their innocence and playfulness is a relaxing way to spend a half hour or an afternoon; I've done both.
2. Friday Night Movies on Bravo: FREE (w/cable) "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You Have Mail" have entertained me more often then I can remember.
3. Cleveland Park Wine & Spirits Friday Night Wine Tastings: FREE I think that pretty much speaks for itself. I was able to sample some new wine and chat with people like me who love wine; enough said.
4. Ice Water at Happy Hours: FREE A lot of networking events are focused on Happy Hours. If you're not careful you could blow a lot of money going to three or more a week. I learned that ice water is just as appropriate to carry around as a glass of wine. I've never been so hydrated, my skin looked decent for once and the constant trips to the ladies room always gave me an out to exit one conversation and enter a new one.
5. Celeste Frozen Pizzas. I love these things! My friend Laurin introduced them to me. They make me think of her when I heat one up and they are usually on sale 5 for 5dollars. Now that's a deal.
6. Red Box Movies at Giant: $1.99
7. The National Cathedral: FREE Many afternoons I would walk up to the Cathedral and find a quiet corner to sit and absorb the feeling of being so small in a structure that is so big. The Rose Gardens outside are also another favorite thinking spot.
8. Facial Packets from CVS: $2.00 I have no idea what brand they are but I find them in the skin care aisle at CVS. For $2 you get two applications of a mud mask or seaweed treatment. If I close my eyes, put on Enya and light some scented candles to drown out the disgusting food my neighbor upstairs cooks everyday, I can pretend I'm at a spa.
9. Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos: $2.49. The best cookie ever invented hands down.
10. A new song from iTunes: .99 All it takes is a new song or an old favorite to remind us of happier times and our mood totally changes.
Sometimes, the boundaries of happiness are limited only by the parameters of our imagination and the courage to explore our curiosity.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Why don't bathroom partitions have cup holders?
For the first time ever I visited The Starboard in Dewey Beach. I made the trip with my sister who had been several times over the summer. I was excited to experience this place firsthand and see what this place was all about.
The drink of choice for the evening turned out to be vodka/tonics. I'm always hesitant about drinking liquor because I know a hangover is in my future. At the Starboard they serve their drinks with straws which is the key ingredient for a hazy night. After numerous vodka/tonics it was time to use the restroom. I had just gotten a new drink and realized after walking in that there was no one behind me to ask to hang on to it, so I brought it into the stall with me. Not sure why I thought there would be a good place to rest my drink, but I decided that the toilet paper dispenser was wide enough and stable enough to support my beverage for three minutes. It was doing a great job, but then it all went wrong.
I sit down, (after thoroughly wiping down every surface that I would be coming in contact with), and suddenly the empty stall next to me became occupied. The slamming of the partition door created such a jolting force that my drink jumped, not fell, it jumped square into my underwear. It was as if the cup sprouted wings and flew right onto me. I was in shock as I watched the cup bounce across the floor and slide under another stall. I had my own personal ice sculpture topped with an orange slice sitting there in the crotch of my underwear. I didn't even know where to begin in the clean up process. I lifted the ice pile and threw it to the side only to have it land on the feet of the girl in the next stall who responded, "What the 'eff? Where did this ice come from?" I felt bad as she slipped on it trying to walk out.
Luckily for me my jeans were dark, the bar was dark and everyone was beyond drunk. Though the remaining time at the bar were a little cold and uncomfortable, the evening proved memorable. Lesson Learned: Hit the restroom first, then the bar.
The drink of choice for the evening turned out to be vodka/tonics. I'm always hesitant about drinking liquor because I know a hangover is in my future. At the Starboard they serve their drinks with straws which is the key ingredient for a hazy night. After numerous vodka/tonics it was time to use the restroom. I had just gotten a new drink and realized after walking in that there was no one behind me to ask to hang on to it, so I brought it into the stall with me. Not sure why I thought there would be a good place to rest my drink, but I decided that the toilet paper dispenser was wide enough and stable enough to support my beverage for three minutes. It was doing a great job, but then it all went wrong.
I sit down, (after thoroughly wiping down every surface that I would be coming in contact with), and suddenly the empty stall next to me became occupied. The slamming of the partition door created such a jolting force that my drink jumped, not fell, it jumped square into my underwear. It was as if the cup sprouted wings and flew right onto me. I was in shock as I watched the cup bounce across the floor and slide under another stall. I had my own personal ice sculpture topped with an orange slice sitting there in the crotch of my underwear. I didn't even know where to begin in the clean up process. I lifted the ice pile and threw it to the side only to have it land on the feet of the girl in the next stall who responded, "What the 'eff? Where did this ice come from?" I felt bad as she slipped on it trying to walk out.
Luckily for me my jeans were dark, the bar was dark and everyone was beyond drunk. Though the remaining time at the bar were a little cold and uncomfortable, the evening proved memorable. Lesson Learned: Hit the restroom first, then the bar.
And the Word of the Day is...
Dewche Bag /dew-sh bag/noun:
1. A male patron of Dewey Beach incapable of intelligent conversation, enjoying a Saturday night or managing to make a female laugh and who resorts to criticism and insults in order to get attention.
2. A male with low IQ, low self-esteem and low charisma.
3. A male with no balls.
1. A male patron of Dewey Beach incapable of intelligent conversation, enjoying a Saturday night or managing to make a female laugh and who resorts to criticism and insults in order to get attention.
2. A male with low IQ, low self-esteem and low charisma.
3. A male with no balls.
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