In Pursuit of the Fountain of Youth

For all of the women out there who sometimes find themselves thinking, "Man, I wish I was single again", let me just say these three little words:
NO YOU DON'T

Dating in DC, or going out rather is hard work. I mean hard work like you have to put in a 120% effort in hopes of getting a 20% return. It's slim pickins out there ladies. Guys with stonewashed jeans, indoor soccer shoes and tucked in button downs from Lands End. It's bad.

Last night I went out with my sister to a swanky happy hour benefit at the Ritz. It wasn't a good night for me from the beginning. When it comes to clothing selections I'm as indecisive as they come. I realized, (twice actually), that I'm old. I do not like being cold and the fact that I put warmth ahead of fashion tells me one thing, I'm turning into my mother. Gone are the days where I would go out for the night and not bring a coat, or the days where I would bring a coat and still have something fun underneath. I've now entered the stage where a turtleneck is an acceptable going out top with another layer over that in addition to my coat. It was cold last night and I wanted no part of it.

The second time I realized I was old came at the Ritz bar. One of my sister's friends was out and I had never met him before. He asked, "how close in age are you guys?" My sister replied, "2 and a half years." He turned around immediately and said, "And you're the older one", to me.

Seriously? What kind of guy guesses at your age anyway? Maybe next up we can play, "What's my weight?" or "Who's butt looks better in their jeans?" For the love!

The last guy to ask me for my number had an AARP membership. Maybe this is a sign, I am looking older. His idea of a date was "taking me for a drive" because that's what old folks do, they drive the countryside on a Sunday afternoon. I know I just need to keep going out and meeting more people because I'm sure as hell not going to meet anyone on my sofa, at my office or at yoga class.

Maybe I need to start analyzing the men on my metro rides more closely? Prince Charming could be standing next to me every morning and I probably wouldn't know because I'm too busy reading my Merriam Webster's word of the day and trying to create a sentence to use it. Yeah, that's what I do every morning for the 6 minutes I'm on the train.

I'm sure that's probably what old people do, too.

Maybe next Friday I should skip Happy Hour and go to Bingo.


Work Hard/Play Harder/Laugh the Hardest