Up and coming urban trend or economic indicator of struggling market?

Maybe I'm just really old and out of the loop or maybe the economy has hit an all time low.

This story begins on my favorite, and only, form of transportation in DC...the Metro. Last Friday on my way downtown I hopped on the red line in a fairly crowded car, (read: Marianne applies hand sanitizer). I sat down in back of a typical 20-something, well dressed, nicely groomed, most likely heading to the Hill, gentleman. He was doing what I like to call, "seat blocking". He sat on the outside and piled all of his crap on the inside seat so no one would bug him to move over. He had his dry cleaning on top of laptop bag. His arm was stretched around the back of the seat as if he was on a date with his clothes. He sat back real low and had his legs spread real wide with one long lanky leg hanging out in the aisle.

He had thick dark hair that had way too much product in it. You can tell someone has too much product when you can see those tiny white clumps that look like lint all through their hair. On the back of his neck was a giant pimple that I kept finding my eyes drawn to; it was big. Most likely caused from too much product collecting at the base of his hair line. Upon further inspection I found some other oddities about this guy.

For starters, I'm quite certain a bird had recently defecated on the back of his shirt, unbeknownst to him. I can only assume that was the cause of said stain after a recent run in this summer with a bird of my own. I was at my sister's pool after my surgery, just trying to relax, lay still and not jump around when all of a sudden I awoke to a wet, warm puddle on my neck and collar bone. You would have thought the bird that bombed on me was carrying a water balloon. It was massive, voluminous and absolutely vile. That color, that disgusting putrid color, will forever be cemented in my mind and that's the color I saw on this guy's shirt.

Now the next part is even more disgusting, and I'm not making this up.

When it gets hot in DC, it gets hot. Usually the Metro is not air conditioned for one reason or another and that day was no exception. Like everyone else on the train, this guy was sweating up a storm. I could see him searching in his bag and he pulled something out and dabbed his glistening forehead. I didn't really think much of it until after the second time when I could see the fabric of his alleged "handkerchief". Wait a minute, did I just see golf balls and clubs? I watched as he blotted again and then he unfolded the material and my suspicions were confirmed: This guy was using a pair of boxer shorts as a hanky!

My face automatically scrunched up as if I smelled something bad. He kept folding and unfolding the boxer shorts as if he was trying to disguise them. But it was too late, I was on to him and I'm pretty sure the old lady sitting across from me noticed, too. I realize we are all trying to pinch pennies, but you should never be putting your face on a garment that goes in that place, ever.

A better solution may be to use a little less product if he's trying to save some cash.