No Survey, Profile or Witty Email Required

I disagree with the statement that as we get older our "list of must haves" in a mate gets smaller because we are settling. I believe that the list gets tapered down because we realize what is important. The list becomes leaner because all of the fat has been cut out. I don't think you should have to fill out a lengthy question and answer survey in order to summarize what you're looking for in a partner. If you could ask for any three qualities in a person, what would they be?

These are mine...

1. Kill the Spiders.

Translation: Helping me face my fears.
Anyone who knows me is aware of my hatred of spiders. I rarely use the word "hate", in fact to me it's one of the worst words you can ever use. (This coming from someone who has a mouth of a truck driver and while at work the other day exclaimed, "Mother F*cker!" when my favorite pen died mid-sentence. When my co-worker asked, "Did you just say, Mother F*cker?" I said, "Yes, I did. I'm sorry if it offended you." He responded, "No, it didn't offend me but what happened?" I responded, "My favorite pen died. I'm left handed and it's hard to find pens that don't smudge. That was the only pen that I have here at work that didn't smudge, so it's a pretty big freaking deal!" He laughed and walked away. I'm pretty sure he thinks I have turrets.)

No, I don't think all spiders should die. Only the ones that ones that come into contact with me. The other day while walking out for my morning run I nearly walked smack dab into the middle of a web with a huge spider sitting right in the middle. I screamed and most likely woke up my neighbors. The spider ran away and with a couple of "kung fu" chops I was able to knock down the web and run for my life all the while splaying my hands back and forth as if I was putting out an invisible fire.

I realize I need someone to kill the spiders in my life for me. Maybe they can show me that they're not so scary after all. They can help me over come my fear and in turn make me a stronger person.


2. Put the fitted sheet on the bed.

Translation: Being a teammate with the everyday minutia that makes up life.
I dread changing sheets. Not so much the taking off part, but the putting them back on. I've tried all the tricks: do opposite corners, lift up the mattress corner, shove your knee into the mattress, etc. Because of this, putting the fitted sheet on the mattress has become the domestic chore I despise the most. I would rather clean my entire bathroom with a single paper towel and a tooth brush than have to struggle with a mattress corner. The tugging, pulling, breaking my nails and wrenching my back is a weekly wrestling match and I'm never the winner.

Some people say they wish they had someone that cleaned or cooked or did laundry. What all of that boils down to is having a teammate. Each person has the tasks they don't enjoy doing but when you have someone to help you out with the daily grind it makes life a lot easier.


3. Hold the sign for me at the finish line.

Translation: Support me no matter which race I'm running and what place I'm in.
Nothing compares to finishing a race and having someone there to cheer you on, either holding a sign or holding a water bottle or holding you upright. Everyone needs support and encouragement. Whether we are leading the pack and finishing in the top ten or bringing up the rear and finishing dead last. The support of someone who truly believes in you, even at times when you're doubting yourself, is the best feeling in the world.



The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-G.K. Chesterton



Someone Like You
-Van Morrison

I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.

I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.

I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.