Tell Me Something I Want To Know

All of you politicos out there may have noticed my reference to the Chris Matthews Show from the title of this entry. His show has a segment called, "Tell Me Something I Don't Know". All of the guests on his panel take turns going around the table giving their own prediction or revelation for the week to come. I want to take this segment and change it to Tell Me Something I Want To Know and apply it to the newly revealed..."Mw's Dating 101: What Not To Talk About."

Every guy out there thinks that they are a great conversationalist and that in a few carefully honed "openers" they can swoon most women. I disagree completely. If these men exist they certainly do not live in DC. From my very sparse dating experience I've noticed that every guy asks the same questions and it's soooooo predictable where the conversation is going to go.

Rule 1: Don't Ask Me What I Do For a Living.
This has to be one of the questions that I despise the most. Why? Because when I say I'm an Interior Designer I get one of two responses back. 1. "Ohhh? That sounds like fun?" Or 2. "My Mom is a decorator, too. She makes window treatments and pillows." Well my Mom can certainly make window treatments and pillows, too, but Dorothy doesn't call herself a "decorator". Just because I'm not a lawyer or lobbyist or work on the Hill doesn't mean I have a useless "fluff" job. My job is stressful and you know what it's probably just as "fun" as anyone else's. My office however is fun b/c I work with a lot of great people and we choose to make it a fun place to be, how else would we survive crazy deadlines and unrealistic clients? My co-workers are my friends, they make me laugh everyday which makes work enjoyable.

Rule 2: Don't Ask Where I Live and Expect Specifics.
Look "Tom" we just met, how the hell am I supposed to know if John Walsh didn't just call you out on America's Most Wanted? I live in the District and that's my story, no need for the neighborhood or for heaven's sake even the street. You don't need to know this. I live in a box under the bridge down by the river. How's that for location?

Rule 3: Don't Ask Me "How Important Is a Checking Account?"
Yep, I've actually been asked this question. In fact just this Friday at a Happy Hour in DC. When I responded, quite honestly, "Well you need money to survive in life and it sure makes things easier. As long as you have a job and you get a paycheck that's all that really matters." The follow up question was even worse, "Well, would you ever date someone who made A LOT LESS money then you do?" My response, "Why would you ever ask me this question?" His response leads me to my next rule.

Rule 4: Don't Go On a Rant About Your Ex.I don't care that your ex was a physician who made A LOT of money and was the bread winner. Good for her, but I'm not her. Remember, I said I was an interior designer; completely different pay scales here. Your past is your past and I wasn't in it. But I am in the present so lets talk about that, not your ex.

Rule 5: Be Able To Sell Yourself In 5 Ways.No one wants to answer the questions I listed above. Why, because they are superficial parts of our life. Meeting people is about marketing yourself. The product you are selling is YOU. You would never get people to buy something if you disclosed the defects or the bad parts right away, (i.e. Man who was recently divorced by physician with uber bucks.) If there is a future, there is plenty of time to talk about the ghosts in the closet and all of the bad stuff. Hence the phrase Tell Me Something I Want To Know. Someone dating me may want to know I'm the youngest of 7 children and I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters. Those are a part of me as much as the color of my eyes. That will never change and will always be a part of my life. My job, my career, my address, all of those things are fleeting and easily transferable. But what do they really signify? Nothing. The real parts that make us unique are the parts of our life that have been there since the day we were born. Those are the parts I like to market...and also the fact that I'm highly sarcastic and I love to make people laugh. Remember, don't be fooled by fancy packaging.

So the next time you're out and someone asks you, "What do you do for a living?" Come up with a creative response that makes them have to ask a few more probing questions to get to know the real YOU. My answer is going to be, "I work with buildings and paper."


Work Hard. Play Harder. Laugh the Hardest...and ask great questions!