DC=Dirty Citizens

It's not my fault I'm obsessive compulsive about germs. It's a serious disease and I can't help the fact that I don't want to touch something that a dirty person touched. But honestly, who does? Some of us are just slightly more aware of germs than others.

Exhibit A:
Polo Fashion Show on Friday night with sis. It was so muddy outside from the 6 days of rain that we had all week. It was one big mud bath for your feet. (And to think my sister got a pedicure prior to going out for the evening.) Shoes, feet and clothes were all dirty all night. It was driving me crazy. Combined with the equally, if not even dirtier, element of the port-o-john I could have not been more in need of a hot shower when I got home. I actually walked straight into my shower with all of my clothes and shoes on----it was that muddy.

I was proud of myself though. I survived. I even shook hands with lots of people, not something I like to do with that whole Swine Flu going around.

Exhibit B:
This may require reading this next one twice.
Let me set the scene. Cleveland Park Metro Station. (It's an underground test tube for breeding germs basically.) I'm walking up the steps and I see something that actually made me slow my pace and almost trip:
Women walking down the escalator while BREAST FEEDING.

I told you that you would want to read that one twice.

Where do I begin? So many adjectives to choose from. This was not only dirty and disgusting, but dangerous for the baby and the Mom. I mean, she's walking while another human is latched onto her nipple, feeding! I'm all for multi-tasking, but this is just ridiculous. Anytime something is attached to your nipple I would think that should be the task you should focus on. There really is no need to add more to your plate at this moment. Just chill with the feeding part. But to add walking to it, then the extra concentration required for walking on a MOVING STAIRCASE that's descending by the way, in all places as the metro station??? Now that's just insane! Someone needed to ask this women why she was in such a rush. Was she going to get a tattoo while balancing this juggling act at the same time? Her husband was a good 20 steps ahead of her. He was running down the escalator steps with their son who looked like he just learned to walk. I have a feeling both of those kids have stitches in their near future.

I'm not a Mom and trust me, I give big props to all my friends and sisters who have kids of their own. I really have no idea how they raise children, manage the household and organize the lives of multiple family members all while working full time. I can barely take care of myself. I don't think any of my girlfriends or sisters would attempt said feat above though. And if they did, I would be the first to say to them, "You need to slow the 'eff down. Because you're gonna trip, lose a nipple, or pick up the Swine Flu in the process."

And whatever you do, do not let your kids touch that rail on the train then touch their food or worse YOU....

Exhibit C:
Dirty man on metro who was coughing and sneezing profusely then grabbing the rail. I give him credit for grabbing the rail actually. If I had to watch him "metro surf" for one more stop I was gonna make him sit down. He was all over the floor barely escaping from falling full force a couple of times. Then the sneezing started, followed by the coughing. I watched his grimy hand touch the rail. All I could I utter to myself was, "Gag." I was transfixed on this gentlemen for the two stops we traveled together. Partially b/c I wanted to know just how many things in a train one dirty person could potentially contaminate. The other reason was b/c I couldn't remember the last time I saw someone sporting one of those calculator watches. I think it was like 6th grade, definitely middle school. But there one was, staring me straight in the face, an old school calculator watch. Do you remember them? They were quite the rage for a short span. His was black, full keyboard and yes, the band was Velcro. And you know what else that watch probably had all over it, GERMS. I wanted no part of the ebola this guy was selling and steered clear of him while exiting.

This is why I'm a germaphobe, because people are dirty.

God Bless the inventor of hand sanitizer!