Excuse me, but are you staring at my *its?
We learn a lot of lessons when we are little. Those pearls of wisdom that we are expected to hone while we are young and become part of our core values as adults. You remember them...
Treat elders with respect
Don't take the last piece of anything
Never show up empty handed to a party (unless of course you're crashing it)
Don't swear (whoopsy!)
Don't roll your eyes at people who stand on the left of the escalators (guilty!)
Look people in the eye when you're talking to them.......
You get the picture.
I went to a happy hour event tonight. As I pulled up a chair at one of the tables I accidentally banged into the chair next to me. Before I had a chance to say I was sorry, the handsome face on the guy sitting in the chair looked up at me. I smiled. We introduced ourselves. He had big brown eyes and a charming smile.
We chatted for about 15 minutes. We were having a nice conversation. He was funny. He was smart. He was.......scoping?
I couldn't help but notice that while we were talking his eyes kept lowering and gazing southward. He would ask me a question, I would answer it and then he would avoid eye contact and his eyes would wander, down there. Just as I was thinking how insulting his behavior was, he ended the conversation and got up from the table to get another drink at the bar, (even though we had a cocktail server assigned to our group). Quickly absorbed by a group of younger, skinnier and prettier girls, he was never to be seen of again for the rest of the evening.
So I did what any self-respecting woman does, I ordered another drink.
Fast forward to arriving home tonight. Right by the door to my apartment is a giant mirror. A mirror of any size would have been super helpful tonight, preferably before I went to the event.
If I could add just one rule to the list above it would be: cover up your..........*its.
And by (*), I mean Z, as in zits.
At the age of 37 I still get them, pimples. An enormous golf ball size, (maybe I'm slightly exaggerating), red, bump of angry flesh camping out on my face. After two days of intense treatment it was finally on the mend. I thought I had covered it up pretty well but my make-up was no match against the awful DC humidity. There it was staring at me when I got home, waving its big red flag like an astronaut claiming territory on my giant moon of a face. I think a tear drop tattooed on my cheek would have been less noticeable, (and definitely much hipper).
The moral of the story is, if you're talking to someone and they're not looking you in the eye, they could very well be staring at your giant ZITS. Ai yi yi.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
The Pursuit of Peace
For the past year and a half I have volunteered at Learning Ally, formerly Reading for the Blind & Dyslexic. As the name implies, my efforts go into helping the blind and dyslexic community by reading textbooks, novels, and short stories that are recorded and put on tape. I guarantee that I get much more out of this process than the individuals who are subjected to listening to my voice guide them through their psychology text book or social studies lesson. I go in once a week and even though my commute or the stresses of the day may make me a little frazzled when I arrive, I always leave feeling relaxed and at peace. The older I get the more I seem to be looking for this in my life. A sense of peace in everything I do. My interactions with friends, family, coworkers, my job, my neighbors, I strive to find peace in everything. Sometimes I fail miserably, but on nights that I volunteer I do find that sense of peace. If I miss the train as I head back to my apartment and have to wait 10 minutes then so be it. I have to learn to accept that sometimes we are not in the driver’s seat, we are just the passenger. I secretly believe this is why we have smart phones and reading material (like this blog), to keep us occupied when we are waiting for trains…..or doctors.
Earlier in the month Learning Ally asked me to attend their annual spring gala at The House of Sweden. I was really excited to go to such a fancy event. Dressing up is always fun, especially when you have a sister who can style you for anything and loves to shop, (thanks again, Gab). The nice thing about going to events by yourself is that you pretty much operate on your own agenda. During the cocktail hour I bounced around and met several couples and chatted with them about Learning Ally. (They had no idea what the organization did and were given tickets through their employers who bought tables.) Everyone I met was about my age or a bit older and they were all very pleasant to chat with and very nice.
Little did I know that the most extraordinary people I would meet would be fellow volunteers.
The lights flickered for everyone to move to the downstairs dining area. I found my table and introduced myself to the other volunteers and their guests; they were all couples. Most of the people at the table were on the other side of 65. I found a chair next to Ed. Ed had a face that was a combination of Donald Sutherland with a Jack Nicholson smile; I felt at ease immediately. We discussed the obvious, how long we have each volunteered and why we started volunteering in the first place. I learned a lot about Ed. He volunteered with his wife, Mary, who was sitting on the other side of him and as equally charming. They put my volunteer hours to shame when they told me that they would go in to the studio for 4 hours every Tuesday afternoon. They both shared a passion for reading and learning which was evident in their conversation and speech. They were both so easy to talk to, I didn’t have to raise my voice for them to hear me, they were sharp and witty, and best of all they thought I was funny.
I learned that Ed used to be a professor of American Literature at American University. He left teaching to pursue a career in the Foreign Service. He had traveled the world and been to so many extraordinary places. I found myself hanging on his every word as he told me of all the places he had visited and the countries he has lived in over the course of his employment. Mary was also in the Foreign Service and they met in Beirut. She said, “You see, I had to go halfway around the world to meet the love of my life!” The remark made me smile as she reached over and held Ed’s hand.
Ed told me about his two sons and grandchildren. Mary and Ed were planning a trip out west to Colorado to see one of their sons and his family for a week. They had a granddaughter who was graduating from high school. They told me the names and ages of all 5 grandchildren and what each one of them was doing. It was clear they were very proud of their family. I asked Ed what other things he does during the day since he was retired. He responded, “Well, we spend a lot of time going to the doctors, you know that’s what happens when you get old.” He then disclosed that he has diabetes and Mary has bone cancer in her hip. She walks with a cane and has difficulty getting around sometimes. I told him about my back surgery a few years ago. I explained that after the experience I never took for granted the gift of mobility and that being able to get around on your own two feet is a blessing every day. He nodded and agreed with me.
The next thing out of Ed’s mouth struck me. “I’m very blessed and I’ve lived a great life. I have seen so many wonderful places and I have a lot of happy memories.” At first it made me sad to hear him say this because I felt like he was talking about his life in the past tense. But I realized that he was simply accepting his own mortality and that someday, who knows when, he was going to perish. The weight of this message wasn’t just carried in what he said; it was how he said it.
Ed was at peace.
I realized while sitting next to him that I, too, was at peace. I think that’s what we all want when we get older and have checked off the boxes on our bucket list. We are simply looking for a sense of peace in what we’ve done with our time here in this life and we are looking for love from those that are surrounding us.
My mom turned 70 last year. My family gathered and had a special dinner for her at a restaurant in my home town. During the dinner I looked around the table at all of my siblings and their families. A lot of my nieces and nephews are grown up and are, (dare I say), adults. It made me sad because I know if they are getting old, then I’m getting old. But it also made me excited. Excited to wonder what is in store for them and where their path in life will lead them.
I think it must be a pretty amazing accomplishment when you’re 70 to look around a big dining room table of people and know that you’re the reason why all these people came together and will continue to be bonded forever. I think if everyone started out their lives and careers with the pursuit of peace for when they turn 70, 80, or 90, we probably would do things a little differently. But we would probably miss out on a lot of important life lessons at the same time.
To everyone who reads this blog, I wish you a long life that takes you on a journey which not only satisfies your curiosities and passions but finds you at a dinner table many years from now, old, really old, with lots and lots of wrinkles and incredible stories that you’re willing to share with a complete stranger. I wish that you’re able to emit the same amount of peace that Ed did, and absorb the same amount of love in return.
Laughter…..Love…….Peace.
Earlier in the month Learning Ally asked me to attend their annual spring gala at The House of Sweden. I was really excited to go to such a fancy event. Dressing up is always fun, especially when you have a sister who can style you for anything and loves to shop, (thanks again, Gab). The nice thing about going to events by yourself is that you pretty much operate on your own agenda. During the cocktail hour I bounced around and met several couples and chatted with them about Learning Ally. (They had no idea what the organization did and were given tickets through their employers who bought tables.) Everyone I met was about my age or a bit older and they were all very pleasant to chat with and very nice.
Little did I know that the most extraordinary people I would meet would be fellow volunteers.
The lights flickered for everyone to move to the downstairs dining area. I found my table and introduced myself to the other volunteers and their guests; they were all couples. Most of the people at the table were on the other side of 65. I found a chair next to Ed. Ed had a face that was a combination of Donald Sutherland with a Jack Nicholson smile; I felt at ease immediately. We discussed the obvious, how long we have each volunteered and why we started volunteering in the first place. I learned a lot about Ed. He volunteered with his wife, Mary, who was sitting on the other side of him and as equally charming. They put my volunteer hours to shame when they told me that they would go in to the studio for 4 hours every Tuesday afternoon. They both shared a passion for reading and learning which was evident in their conversation and speech. They were both so easy to talk to, I didn’t have to raise my voice for them to hear me, they were sharp and witty, and best of all they thought I was funny.
I learned that Ed used to be a professor of American Literature at American University. He left teaching to pursue a career in the Foreign Service. He had traveled the world and been to so many extraordinary places. I found myself hanging on his every word as he told me of all the places he had visited and the countries he has lived in over the course of his employment. Mary was also in the Foreign Service and they met in Beirut. She said, “You see, I had to go halfway around the world to meet the love of my life!” The remark made me smile as she reached over and held Ed’s hand.
Ed told me about his two sons and grandchildren. Mary and Ed were planning a trip out west to Colorado to see one of their sons and his family for a week. They had a granddaughter who was graduating from high school. They told me the names and ages of all 5 grandchildren and what each one of them was doing. It was clear they were very proud of their family. I asked Ed what other things he does during the day since he was retired. He responded, “Well, we spend a lot of time going to the doctors, you know that’s what happens when you get old.” He then disclosed that he has diabetes and Mary has bone cancer in her hip. She walks with a cane and has difficulty getting around sometimes. I told him about my back surgery a few years ago. I explained that after the experience I never took for granted the gift of mobility and that being able to get around on your own two feet is a blessing every day. He nodded and agreed with me.
The next thing out of Ed’s mouth struck me. “I’m very blessed and I’ve lived a great life. I have seen so many wonderful places and I have a lot of happy memories.” At first it made me sad to hear him say this because I felt like he was talking about his life in the past tense. But I realized that he was simply accepting his own mortality and that someday, who knows when, he was going to perish. The weight of this message wasn’t just carried in what he said; it was how he said it.
Ed was at peace.
I realized while sitting next to him that I, too, was at peace. I think that’s what we all want when we get older and have checked off the boxes on our bucket list. We are simply looking for a sense of peace in what we’ve done with our time here in this life and we are looking for love from those that are surrounding us.
My mom turned 70 last year. My family gathered and had a special dinner for her at a restaurant in my home town. During the dinner I looked around the table at all of my siblings and their families. A lot of my nieces and nephews are grown up and are, (dare I say), adults. It made me sad because I know if they are getting old, then I’m getting old. But it also made me excited. Excited to wonder what is in store for them and where their path in life will lead them.
I think it must be a pretty amazing accomplishment when you’re 70 to look around a big dining room table of people and know that you’re the reason why all these people came together and will continue to be bonded forever. I think if everyone started out their lives and careers with the pursuit of peace for when they turn 70, 80, or 90, we probably would do things a little differently. But we would probably miss out on a lot of important life lessons at the same time.
To everyone who reads this blog, I wish you a long life that takes you on a journey which not only satisfies your curiosities and passions but finds you at a dinner table many years from now, old, really old, with lots and lots of wrinkles and incredible stories that you’re willing to share with a complete stranger. I wish that you’re able to emit the same amount of peace that Ed did, and absorb the same amount of love in return.
Laughter…..Love…….Peace.
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Secret Joy of Being Small
{Run fast for your mother and fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive}
{So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name}
{Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace}
{Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am}
{Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy}
{I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down}
{And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand}
The first time I heard the song “On Eagle’s Wings”, I was a little girl sitting in St. Joseph’s church in Cayuga, NY. I remember the way I felt when I heard the song. I listened to the chorus and the words took me on a journey. I thought that God must be a giant if he was capable of holding me in the palm of his hand. I remember feeling small; very small. But small in a good way, like I was just a tiny fractal in a big universe. Although I felt small, I didn’t feel alone, I felt protected.
This past week I heard the song, twice; once on Ash Wednesday and again on Saturday. Every time I hear this song I find it difficult to sing the chorus. I start to tear up and have to look up at the ceiling. It’s one of my favorite songs to sing at mass still to this day. The song makes me feel light, like I’m floating on a cloud and traveling through the sky. I wonder what it must feel like to shine like the sun.
Music amazes me. It has the ability to make us feel every emotion possible. Happiness, joy, sadness, anger, wonder, excitement…
It can instantly change our mood.
Force us to ponder issues we don’t discuss.
Bring us to undiscovered corners of our imagination.
And even make us contemplate our own mortality.
All of the lyrics above are smaller portions of larger songs; the part that I gravitate to, sing in my head and speak to me in a secret way. They give me peace.
The beauty of music is that once we hear it, we can remember it, store it in our heart and carry it with our spirit. Once something has touched our spirit, it has touched us forever.
I saw a story on the NBC news this week about Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. After watching the video on YouTube I felt that familiar feeling. The feeling of being small, but not alone, and knowing that we are surrounded by millions of other individuals and that we are all part of something much, much bigger.
Watch the video, it’s beautiful.
http://youtu.be/D7o7BrlbaDs
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive}
{So I'm sailing for tomorrow
My dreams are a dyin'.
And my love is an anchor tied to you
Tied with a silver chain.
I have my ship
And all her flags are a flyin'
She is all that I have left
And music is her name}
{Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace}
{Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am}
{Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy}
{I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down}
{And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand}
The first time I heard the song “On Eagle’s Wings”, I was a little girl sitting in St. Joseph’s church in Cayuga, NY. I remember the way I felt when I heard the song. I listened to the chorus and the words took me on a journey. I thought that God must be a giant if he was capable of holding me in the palm of his hand. I remember feeling small; very small. But small in a good way, like I was just a tiny fractal in a big universe. Although I felt small, I didn’t feel alone, I felt protected.
This past week I heard the song, twice; once on Ash Wednesday and again on Saturday. Every time I hear this song I find it difficult to sing the chorus. I start to tear up and have to look up at the ceiling. It’s one of my favorite songs to sing at mass still to this day. The song makes me feel light, like I’m floating on a cloud and traveling through the sky. I wonder what it must feel like to shine like the sun.
Music amazes me. It has the ability to make us feel every emotion possible. Happiness, joy, sadness, anger, wonder, excitement…
It can instantly change our mood.
Force us to ponder issues we don’t discuss.
Bring us to undiscovered corners of our imagination.
And even make us contemplate our own mortality.
All of the lyrics above are smaller portions of larger songs; the part that I gravitate to, sing in my head and speak to me in a secret way. They give me peace.
The beauty of music is that once we hear it, we can remember it, store it in our heart and carry it with our spirit. Once something has touched our spirit, it has touched us forever.
I saw a story on the NBC news this week about Eric Whitacre’s Virtual Choir. After watching the video on YouTube I felt that familiar feeling. The feeling of being small, but not alone, and knowing that we are surrounded by millions of other individuals and that we are all part of something much, much bigger.
Watch the video, it’s beautiful.
http://youtu.be/D7o7BrlbaDs
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Run, Walk, Bike....Just Do Something
4 jersey walls, 3 scrapes to my leg and hands and 10 miles later, I completed the Army 10 Miler.
It was a rough start as races go. I didn't get to the race as early as I had hoped and was rushing to get to the start on time, hence the jersey wall climbing. I noticed a girl looking at my hand as we waited for the gun at the starting line and realized my hand was bleeding. Pretty sure the skin I was missing was probably back on the last jersey wall. Finally we were moving and my thoughts went to other things then the stinging sensation on my finger and shin. At the beginning of every race I do the same thing. I look around and size up the competition. I know I'm not the fastest runner but there's still a competitive side in me. A few miles into a race I usually find someone that I'm running next to or behind and I check out their form, compare our paces and of course, see what type of sneakers they're wearing. Today I found myself in back of a girl who wore shirt that read, "Steel Horse". Miles later I lost her but still found myself looking for her, "Where's Iron Horse, or was it Iron Fist? Where did the Iron Curtain go?"
As you can guess by the name the race had a military theme. I saw many soldiers who served both past and present. One of the many noteworthy characteristics about the military is their sense of "we". They always have each other's backs and look out for one another. Along the way I was motivated by genuine acts of teamwork and support. Lots of people cheering on in the crowds flanking the street which comprised of proud spouses and children holding posters for their loved one that was running. But the most motivating people were the people I was running next to.
I wasn't able to stick to the training plan I created and ended up doing my longest run at only 8 miles. I would worry about how to get through the last two on race day. How did I do it? I willed myself. I started visualizing the word BELIEVE. And yes, it worked. There were times when I thought I felt a cramp coming on but I just stuck to my mantra of "believe". I also found myself changing the lyrics to the song, "I could really use a wish right now" to "I could really use a downhill now", that helped too. Around mile 4 I saw a man on the side of the road. He was sitting down and changing his prosthetic leg, both of them. He had a team of people surrounding him that we're helping him and cheering him on. I saw several other wounded warriors out on the 10 mile stretch. Some of them running with one prosthetic, some of them had two. All of them were running fast, a lot of them faster than me, but all of them were out there giving this race their all. None of them were complaining about a cramp, threatening to stop. My inspiration had been found.
It's amazing what the human mind can do. When you focus on something, will yourself to keep pushing and visualize successfully completing a goal it can really happen. And when that doesn't work, take a look around to see how other people are accomplishing their goals. Cramps, a rough start or a skinned shin are both minor and fleeting. I'm fortunate to be able to run races. I think it's sad that a lot of people who are inactive don't realize the natural gifts and talents their functioning bodies afford them. Whatever your activity is, be it walking, running or biking, it's important to do it with purpose and to push yourself. If you don't ever push your body once in a while you'll never really know what your capable of physically. Be thankful for your body and treat it well, you only get one.
I dedicate this blog to the men and women in our military who ran this race today, to those who are serving in a war and couldn't be here to run and to those we have lost in the war that were never given the opportunity.
It was a rough start as races go. I didn't get to the race as early as I had hoped and was rushing to get to the start on time, hence the jersey wall climbing. I noticed a girl looking at my hand as we waited for the gun at the starting line and realized my hand was bleeding. Pretty sure the skin I was missing was probably back on the last jersey wall. Finally we were moving and my thoughts went to other things then the stinging sensation on my finger and shin. At the beginning of every race I do the same thing. I look around and size up the competition. I know I'm not the fastest runner but there's still a competitive side in me. A few miles into a race I usually find someone that I'm running next to or behind and I check out their form, compare our paces and of course, see what type of sneakers they're wearing. Today I found myself in back of a girl who wore shirt that read, "Steel Horse". Miles later I lost her but still found myself looking for her, "Where's Iron Horse, or was it Iron Fist? Where did the Iron Curtain go?"
As you can guess by the name the race had a military theme. I saw many soldiers who served both past and present. One of the many noteworthy characteristics about the military is their sense of "we". They always have each other's backs and look out for one another. Along the way I was motivated by genuine acts of teamwork and support. Lots of people cheering on in the crowds flanking the street which comprised of proud spouses and children holding posters for their loved one that was running. But the most motivating people were the people I was running next to.
I wasn't able to stick to the training plan I created and ended up doing my longest run at only 8 miles. I would worry about how to get through the last two on race day. How did I do it? I willed myself. I started visualizing the word BELIEVE. And yes, it worked. There were times when I thought I felt a cramp coming on but I just stuck to my mantra of "believe". I also found myself changing the lyrics to the song, "I could really use a wish right now" to "I could really use a downhill now", that helped too. Around mile 4 I saw a man on the side of the road. He was sitting down and changing his prosthetic leg, both of them. He had a team of people surrounding him that we're helping him and cheering him on. I saw several other wounded warriors out on the 10 mile stretch. Some of them running with one prosthetic, some of them had two. All of them were running fast, a lot of them faster than me, but all of them were out there giving this race their all. None of them were complaining about a cramp, threatening to stop. My inspiration had been found.
It's amazing what the human mind can do. When you focus on something, will yourself to keep pushing and visualize successfully completing a goal it can really happen. And when that doesn't work, take a look around to see how other people are accomplishing their goals. Cramps, a rough start or a skinned shin are both minor and fleeting. I'm fortunate to be able to run races. I think it's sad that a lot of people who are inactive don't realize the natural gifts and talents their functioning bodies afford them. Whatever your activity is, be it walking, running or biking, it's important to do it with purpose and to push yourself. If you don't ever push your body once in a while you'll never really know what your capable of physically. Be thankful for your body and treat it well, you only get one.
I dedicate this blog to the men and women in our military who ran this race today, to those who are serving in a war and couldn't be here to run and to those we have lost in the war that were never given the opportunity.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
My Life as a Seinfeld Episode
One of the first jobs I had was working in retail. I've worked in all kinds of stores; shoe, jewelry and clothing. I remember one Christmas season when I was working at the clothing store and running late. I had a tendency of always running late, sometimes really late. My hair was as big as my attitude and I thought I had everything figured out like most of us in our early 20's. As I pulled into the mall parking lot like a bat out of hell, going way too fast and frantically looking for a spot, a guy backed out of a spot in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes because I was going so fast and narrowly avoided side swiping the car. Like any 20 something who was at fault but couldn't admit it, I did what came naturally, I got pissed at the guy who pulled out in front of me. I waved my fist in the air and flagged him with one dramatic middle finger while mouthing words I would never say in front of a priest. The guy, who was most likely equally startled at the sight of my black Ford Tempo racing towards him and the sight of me inside with all my big hair raging around me, looked frightened for a moment, but then he returned my fistful of anger with his own. I locked eyes with the guy and remembered his face. He pulled forward, I drove around him and ran inside to work. The situation wrapped up as quick as it had started, at least it did in my mind.
About a week later, I was back at work for a day shift on a Saturday. My boss was looking forward to her lunch break because she was meeting family and they were going to do some Christmas shopping. I was behind the counter checking out a customer. As I finished putting her item in the bag I looked up and saw someone standing off to the side of the cash wrap but didn't take a good look at them. As my customer left my boss walked up and said, "OK, I'm going to head to lunch now, my dad's here" and she looked in the direction behind me. I turned around and low and behold there's the man from the parking lot incident! My boss made the introduction, "Dad, I want you to meet my coworker, Marianne." My face must have turned a million shades of crimson. He looked me in the eye, those same eyes that I had looked into a week prior,(and flipped a massive bird to), and said, "Oh, we met last week in the parking lot, I'm Tanya's father."
I had some explaining and apologizing to do that afternoon when my boss returned from lunch.
The world is a small, small place. And just when you think it's big, it gets even smaller.
This past winter I started taking boot camp or as I like to call it, booty camp. I took the class with my friend twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays. We realized right away that there was a clique of sorts in booty camp. This clique consisted of the die hard boot campers who had been taking the class for years, unlike my friend and I. The instructor called the members of the clique by their first names which meant he knew them well. He would ask them to do stuff like set up equipment, put weights away, etc. I was kind of happy the instructor didn't know my name after seeing the chores he would make them do.
The clique had a group of girls that consisted of a few really butchy looking girls and a few really bitchy looking girls. As for the latter, there was a duo of a brunette and a blonde. The blonde was just not nice. She always had this look on her face that kind of said, "all of you guys could be standing here on fire and I could have a bucket of water in my hands and I wouldn't help you." She was the kind of girl who would take two mats for herself when the instructor would specifically say, "We ran out of mats, is anyone using two?" And she would sit there with her big ass on two mats and never make any attempt to give one to someone who would end up using their towel instead. (I know this b/c I witnessed her first hand depositing two mats back on the rack at the end of class; trust me she wasn't picking up someone else's to be a good Samaritan either.)
During our boot camp class there would be times when we would have to pass a weight or a bar to the next person in class. Most people would do it with some type of exchange like, "thanks!" and "no problem!" or "you're welcome!". Not her. She would shove her big arm out and extend the weight towards you as if to say, "You better grab this bitch because I'm about to let go, and if it hits the floor, it sure ain't my fault!" The brunette was just her sidekick. I never actually heard her say anything mean or act rude towards anyone. She was guilty by association.
A few weeks ago I had a doctor appointment with my primary care physician. I never actually see the doctor, I just go to the physician's assistant. After getting the blood work portion done I was told to sit in the waiting room because Amanda was running behind schedule. As I cleaned out my Gmail inbox I heard a voice call my name. I stood up, grabbed my purse and started walking toward the door. As I made eye contact with the person holding the door and my chart, I had to do a double take. Was I seeing things because I hadn't eaten in 12 hours? Or was the girl that I was walking towards the brunette from the booty camp clique? I took a few more steps, squinted and realized it was her. One of the booty camp bitches was my PA? How did this happen? I've been going to my doctor for years and have never seen her in here before.
Apparently, I had though. She did my last appointment in 2010 turns out. Somehow the connection was never made at the gym. Maybe it was the lack of a white jacket and stethoscope?
I followed her back to the exam room and took a seat. She didn't recognize me, or did she? We exchanged the normal hellos and she started in with the routine questions. It was somewhere between asking if I was taking any new medications and if I had any surgeries in the past year where I just erupted and said, "You go to the WSC around the corner on the Connecticut, right?" She was like, "I thought you looked really familiar. You're in my boot camp class." We chatted about the class, the instructor and how we were looking to do something different over the summer to change things up. I quickly realized, this girl is not a bitch, in fact, she's actually really nice.
Then my mind started racing as I thought about what the rest of the exam entailed. She's going to see me, like almost naked. I wasn't sure how I felt about booty camp cliquester knowing what I look like without a top on. But then I rationalized, she can see me without a top on in the locker room just as easily, if not easier. She's a professional and this is a doctor's office so I just needed to relax and get through this general physical. I admit that laying there on the table as she did the EKG and I was completely exposed on the top didn't really make me comfortable. She told me some funny stories about our booty camp instructor so that helped pass the time. Before I knew it I was walking out the door and heading back to work. All the while thinking, this is definitely going in the blog.
The lesson I learned here in both of these stories is that the world is very small. You never know if that guy who delivers your FedEx packages at work may turn out to be your friend's new boyfriend. The person on the elevator could be a VP from corporate that you never met before and that person you flipped a bird to could be your boss's father. Everyone is someone. The other lesson learned it that it never pays to judge people by the company they keep. It's a lot harder to do than it sounds and clearly I was guilty of doing it. Sometimes our friends act like douche bags and we can't control their behavior. But that doesn't mean we should be labeled or blamed for their actions.
I'm passing this lesson on because I think it's worth repeating and publicizing and I hope it prevents someone from making the same mistake. The older we get the wiser we get.
"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Learning to Share the Facebook Way
Thanks to Facebook (FB) we are able to connect to people on a virtual level anytime, anywhere. We can share photos, useless details about our day, a great sale at our favorite store or an impromptu happy hour at a local bar. All of this posting and status updating has lots of benefits, but it also has a downside. The fine line between "over sharing" and "connecting" has become so smudged that I sometimes find myself reading an update and thinking, "I really didn't need to know that." Everyone's "privacy settings" on their level of discretion are different. I am not a big status update person. The details of my existence are shared with the people that need to know and who want to know; this doesn't include the 400+ friends I have on FB. The great thing about any social networking site is that we are able to express ourselves how we feel comfortable. Some people are really comfortable expressing themselves and with that I have come up with my biggest pet peeves on FB status updates. Some of you are going to get angry when you read this, but this is my opinion and only my opinion. If you're offended then we can agree to disagree.
FB Status Pet Peeves
1) Photos of feet. I know what you're thinking, you were on vacation and wanted everyone to know you were on vacation but you were by yourself and didn't want to ask someone to take a photo of you, tried several times unsuccessfully to take your own picture and finally gave up and took a photo of your feet as proof. I have never met anyone whose feet were better looking than their face. I would rather see an off centered, close up of one eyeball than see a picture of your feet. Seriously, enough of the feet.
2) Photos of food. I'm not sure when this trend started or why, but what's up with photos of food? Photos of wine are good, especially if you're drinking alone. That way people know they should come find you so you're not drinking alone anymore. Trust me, no one wants to see photos of my food. For lunch you would see a spinach salad with tuna fish and carrots and craisins. You also don't want me to describe it in detail followed by the word, "yummy!" The word yummy is best used on people under the age of 9. Once you hit the double digits you gotta stop using that word. So unless you're getting personally served by Mike Isabella at Graffiato or you're on the Today show cooking with Giada, posting photos of your food is like white noise to me.
3) Photos of car thermometers. If you and I live in the same city, I'm fully aware of how hot outside it is on any given day. Thanks to national weather forecasts, I also know how hot it is in any other part of the country. You taking a photo of the temp your car is reading is not providing anyone with useful information. And if you're dumb enough to take it while driving you're just being ignorant. Do you really want to be that person who rear ended someone b/c you were taking a photo of the temperature on your dashboard?
4) Photos of cuts, scrapes, bruises or bug bites. If it's a sunburn and you have a big hand mark on your back, that's funny. But I don't need to see anything else. Sorry that you fell and scraped your knee. Grab a band-aid, put some neosporin on it and ask your BFF to kiss it, but don't photograph it.
5) The details of your sickness. If you're sick in the hospital I want to know. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. If you're home with the common cold, the flu or your hungover, you can just leave it at that, "Sparky isn't feeling well today, drank too much at Circa last night." When you tell me more than that and use words like vomit, mucous or (my least favorite), diarrhea, you make me feel sick, too. Don't over share when you're sick, less is more.
6) Any photo taken while you're driving a car. See #3; enough said.
7) Posts telling me I need to re post your status if I love my dog, my sister or Jesus. My sisters and my family know I love them because I tell them. My mom and dad are not on FB so I have to tell them the "old fashioned" way and actually tell them. Jesus knows I love him because I go to mass. Last time I checked Jesus wasn't on FB either.
8) Political Rants and Bashing. Again, everyone has an opinion. If you want to post something that endorses your candidate go for it. The problem I have is when other people attack the person posting and start bashing that person's beliefs. Write whatever you want on your wall and as your status, but telling someone that they're "crazy" or an "idiot" for supporting someone that you don't agree with is overly aggressive. I think all of us have friends that do this and any use of the trigger words Democrat or Republican can send them into orbit about whatever subject is being discussed. These people need to join a meet up group or start a debate team; leave my FB wall out of it and take your soap box elsewhere.
9) Constantly Checking In. I get it, you're out at a bar and you want your posse to know where to find you. But the gym? Whole Foods? Getting your oil changed? I mean what's next, checking in for a bikini wax? That's great your 2000 miles are up and you need an oil change. If a family of raccoons was discovered under the hood by all means, take photos and share it. But if it's just your routine oil change keep that between you and the guy at Jiffy Lube.
Disclaimer: The context of this post is not directed to anyone in particular and should not be seen as a personal attack in any way. This is my two cents, and only that. Post whatever you want and use your FB page as you wish. But when I start over sharing and doing anything mentioned above, please let me know immediately.
The FB may be responsible for decreased productivity in the workplace, decreased attendance at high school reunions, it can also take credit for increasing friendships, socializing and spreading good news and humor. And, I think anything that increases the amount we laugh during the day is definitely a good thing.
"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw
FB Status Pet Peeves
1) Photos of feet. I know what you're thinking, you were on vacation and wanted everyone to know you were on vacation but you were by yourself and didn't want to ask someone to take a photo of you, tried several times unsuccessfully to take your own picture and finally gave up and took a photo of your feet as proof. I have never met anyone whose feet were better looking than their face. I would rather see an off centered, close up of one eyeball than see a picture of your feet. Seriously, enough of the feet.
2) Photos of food. I'm not sure when this trend started or why, but what's up with photos of food? Photos of wine are good, especially if you're drinking alone. That way people know they should come find you so you're not drinking alone anymore. Trust me, no one wants to see photos of my food. For lunch you would see a spinach salad with tuna fish and carrots and craisins. You also don't want me to describe it in detail followed by the word, "yummy!" The word yummy is best used on people under the age of 9. Once you hit the double digits you gotta stop using that word. So unless you're getting personally served by Mike Isabella at Graffiato or you're on the Today show cooking with Giada, posting photos of your food is like white noise to me.
3) Photos of car thermometers. If you and I live in the same city, I'm fully aware of how hot outside it is on any given day. Thanks to national weather forecasts, I also know how hot it is in any other part of the country. You taking a photo of the temp your car is reading is not providing anyone with useful information. And if you're dumb enough to take it while driving you're just being ignorant. Do you really want to be that person who rear ended someone b/c you were taking a photo of the temperature on your dashboard?
4) Photos of cuts, scrapes, bruises or bug bites. If it's a sunburn and you have a big hand mark on your back, that's funny. But I don't need to see anything else. Sorry that you fell and scraped your knee. Grab a band-aid, put some neosporin on it and ask your BFF to kiss it, but don't photograph it.
5) The details of your sickness. If you're sick in the hospital I want to know. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. If you're home with the common cold, the flu or your hungover, you can just leave it at that, "Sparky isn't feeling well today, drank too much at Circa last night." When you tell me more than that and use words like vomit, mucous or (my least favorite), diarrhea, you make me feel sick, too. Don't over share when you're sick, less is more.
6) Any photo taken while you're driving a car. See #3; enough said.
7) Posts telling me I need to re post your status if I love my dog, my sister or Jesus. My sisters and my family know I love them because I tell them. My mom and dad are not on FB so I have to tell them the "old fashioned" way and actually tell them. Jesus knows I love him because I go to mass. Last time I checked Jesus wasn't on FB either.
8) Political Rants and Bashing. Again, everyone has an opinion. If you want to post something that endorses your candidate go for it. The problem I have is when other people attack the person posting and start bashing that person's beliefs. Write whatever you want on your wall and as your status, but telling someone that they're "crazy" or an "idiot" for supporting someone that you don't agree with is overly aggressive. I think all of us have friends that do this and any use of the trigger words Democrat or Republican can send them into orbit about whatever subject is being discussed. These people need to join a meet up group or start a debate team; leave my FB wall out of it and take your soap box elsewhere.
9) Constantly Checking In. I get it, you're out at a bar and you want your posse to know where to find you. But the gym? Whole Foods? Getting your oil changed? I mean what's next, checking in for a bikini wax? That's great your 2000 miles are up and you need an oil change. If a family of raccoons was discovered under the hood by all means, take photos and share it. But if it's just your routine oil change keep that between you and the guy at Jiffy Lube.
Disclaimer: The context of this post is not directed to anyone in particular and should not be seen as a personal attack in any way. This is my two cents, and only that. Post whatever you want and use your FB page as you wish. But when I start over sharing and doing anything mentioned above, please let me know immediately.
The FB may be responsible for decreased productivity in the workplace, decreased attendance at high school reunions, it can also take credit for increasing friendships, socializing and spreading good news and humor. And, I think anything that increases the amount we laugh during the day is definitely a good thing.
"Life isn't about learning to climb the hill in front of us, it's about learning to navigate the entire mountain range" -Mw
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
No Survey, Profile or Witty Email Required
I disagree with the statement that as we get older our "list of must haves" in a mate gets smaller because we are settling. I believe that the list gets tapered down because we realize what is important. The list becomes leaner because all of the fat has been cut out. I don't think you should have to fill out a lengthy question and answer survey in order to summarize what you're looking for in a partner. If you could ask for any three qualities in a person, what would they be?
These are mine...
1. Kill the Spiders.
Translation: Helping me face my fears.
Anyone who knows me is aware of my hatred of spiders. I rarely use the word "hate", in fact to me it's one of the worst words you can ever use. (This coming from someone who has a mouth of a truck driver and while at work the other day exclaimed, "Mother F*cker!" when my favorite pen died mid-sentence. When my co-worker asked, "Did you just say, Mother F*cker?" I said, "Yes, I did. I'm sorry if it offended you." He responded, "No, it didn't offend me but what happened?" I responded, "My favorite pen died. I'm left handed and it's hard to find pens that don't smudge. That was the only pen that I have here at work that didn't smudge, so it's a pretty big freaking deal!" He laughed and walked away. I'm pretty sure he thinks I have turrets.)
No, I don't think all spiders should die. Only the ones that ones that come into contact with me. The other day while walking out for my morning run I nearly walked smack dab into the middle of a web with a huge spider sitting right in the middle. I screamed and most likely woke up my neighbors. The spider ran away and with a couple of "kung fu" chops I was able to knock down the web and run for my life all the while splaying my hands back and forth as if I was putting out an invisible fire.
I realize I need someone to kill the spiders in my life for me. Maybe they can show me that they're not so scary after all. They can help me over come my fear and in turn make me a stronger person.
2. Put the fitted sheet on the bed.
Translation: Being a teammate with the everyday minutia that makes up life.
I dread changing sheets. Not so much the taking off part, but the putting them back on. I've tried all the tricks: do opposite corners, lift up the mattress corner, shove your knee into the mattress, etc. Because of this, putting the fitted sheet on the mattress has become the domestic chore I despise the most. I would rather clean my entire bathroom with a single paper towel and a tooth brush than have to struggle with a mattress corner. The tugging, pulling, breaking my nails and wrenching my back is a weekly wrestling match and I'm never the winner.
Some people say they wish they had someone that cleaned or cooked or did laundry. What all of that boils down to is having a teammate. Each person has the tasks they don't enjoy doing but when you have someone to help you out with the daily grind it makes life a lot easier.
3. Hold the sign for me at the finish line.
Translation: Support me no matter which race I'm running and what place I'm in.
Nothing compares to finishing a race and having someone there to cheer you on, either holding a sign or holding a water bottle or holding you upright. Everyone needs support and encouragement. Whether we are leading the pack and finishing in the top ten or bringing up the rear and finishing dead last. The support of someone who truly believes in you, even at times when you're doubting yourself, is the best feeling in the world.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-G.K. Chesterton
Someone Like You
-Van Morrison
I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.
I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.
These are mine...
1. Kill the Spiders.
Translation: Helping me face my fears.
Anyone who knows me is aware of my hatred of spiders. I rarely use the word "hate", in fact to me it's one of the worst words you can ever use. (This coming from someone who has a mouth of a truck driver and while at work the other day exclaimed, "Mother F*cker!" when my favorite pen died mid-sentence. When my co-worker asked, "Did you just say, Mother F*cker?" I said, "Yes, I did. I'm sorry if it offended you." He responded, "No, it didn't offend me but what happened?" I responded, "My favorite pen died. I'm left handed and it's hard to find pens that don't smudge. That was the only pen that I have here at work that didn't smudge, so it's a pretty big freaking deal!" He laughed and walked away. I'm pretty sure he thinks I have turrets.)
No, I don't think all spiders should die. Only the ones that ones that come into contact with me. The other day while walking out for my morning run I nearly walked smack dab into the middle of a web with a huge spider sitting right in the middle. I screamed and most likely woke up my neighbors. The spider ran away and with a couple of "kung fu" chops I was able to knock down the web and run for my life all the while splaying my hands back and forth as if I was putting out an invisible fire.
I realize I need someone to kill the spiders in my life for me. Maybe they can show me that they're not so scary after all. They can help me over come my fear and in turn make me a stronger person.
2. Put the fitted sheet on the bed.
Translation: Being a teammate with the everyday minutia that makes up life.
I dread changing sheets. Not so much the taking off part, but the putting them back on. I've tried all the tricks: do opposite corners, lift up the mattress corner, shove your knee into the mattress, etc. Because of this, putting the fitted sheet on the mattress has become the domestic chore I despise the most. I would rather clean my entire bathroom with a single paper towel and a tooth brush than have to struggle with a mattress corner. The tugging, pulling, breaking my nails and wrenching my back is a weekly wrestling match and I'm never the winner.
Some people say they wish they had someone that cleaned or cooked or did laundry. What all of that boils down to is having a teammate. Each person has the tasks they don't enjoy doing but when you have someone to help you out with the daily grind it makes life a lot easier.
3. Hold the sign for me at the finish line.
Translation: Support me no matter which race I'm running and what place I'm in.
Nothing compares to finishing a race and having someone there to cheer you on, either holding a sign or holding a water bottle or holding you upright. Everyone needs support and encouragement. Whether we are leading the pack and finishing in the top ten or bringing up the rear and finishing dead last. The support of someone who truly believes in you, even at times when you're doubting yourself, is the best feeling in the world.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-G.K. Chesterton
Someone Like You
-Van Morrison
I've been searching a long time
For someone exactly like you
I've been travelling all around the world
Waiting for you to come through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you.
I've been doin' some soul searching
To find out where you're at
I've been up and down the highway
In all kinds of foreign lands
Someone like you... etc.
I've been all around the world
Marching to the beat of a different
Drum.
But just lately I have
Realized
The best is yet to come.
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