It’s amazing once we give our minds a chance to relax and
unwind how quickly we can find inspiration. I was fortunate to take a trip to
the beach this past weekend for the holiday. The ocean breeze, salt water and
soft sands were exactly what I needed to set the stage for some much
anticipated down time. Armed with an assortment of Women’s Health, ELLE , US Americana , the beach had everyone from
retirees, families, single people, groups of teens and of course the token cute
lifeguards.
I watched parents slather on sunscreen on their kids, dads
help their sons build sand castles and a mom chase after her toddler daughter
and scooping her up in to her arms as she got precariously close to the wave’s
edge. It made me contemplate what it would be like to have children of my own.
It made me question if I would ever be able to manage the tasks that I observed
the surrounding moms doing like it was second nature but to me it seemed more
like a constant circus act in which they were the ring leader.
I don’t know if I will ever have children. I would venture
to say I probably won’t since I’m 40 years old and not in a serious
relationship. One thing I do know is if I ever had a daughter I would want to
make sure I taught her as much as I possibly could about life, about love and
about gratitude. Here they are in no particular order of importance.
#1. A sense of quirkiness.
I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to fit in when I
was younger. I realized that when I no longer cared what other people thought
about me and when I followed my own thoughts and opinions and actions something
incredible happened, I became my own person. I know I’m not what most people
would consider normal. I know I’m a little blunt at times, and what some may
say is crazy I prefer to call quirky. I’m not afraid to let my personality come
out, I’m not afraid to speak my mind or disagree with someone. And it’s not
that I don’t care what people think of me and I certainly don’t want to offend
anyone but there is something very freeing about being transparent. I wouldn’t want
my daughter to waste the time I did trying to follow the paved path. I would
encourage her to let her own unique sense of intuition help her forge her own
path. For that path will only lead to happiness.
#2. A sense of self-reliance:
I am no way a Suzy Homemaker, let’s just be honest. However,
there is a very beneficial flip side to being a goddess of the domestic chores
and doing it on your own. When you can maintain your household in a manner that
is organized to your liking, clean so that it is welcoming and in a state of
display that makes you proud to show it off it sets the stage for your mind to
focus on other things, the stuff that actually matters. I would teach my
daughter the importance of having a house that is to her liking on levels of
cleanliness and organization. And most importantly I would teach her how to
cook. I think it’s a wonderful bonding opportunity when you cook with family
and when you pass along recipes. I would want to teach her one or two of my
favorite things to make, like deviled eggs, and encourage her to explore her
own culinary creations. I would want her to be comfortable in the kitchen and
be able to have her one favorite go-to recipe that she would feel confident
making at a dinner party someday, or her future partner. There is no limit to
domestic independence be it inside or outside the house. Whether it is building
a book shelf, sewing the hem on a pair of pants or fixing the garbage disposal,
I would want her to embrace each activity with a sense of confidence and an “I
can totally do this” type of attitude. The worst thing that can happen is that
you have to ask for help or pay someone to do it for you.
#3. A sense of curiosity.
I’m a big believer that learning should not stop after
college and school. There are too many interesting things in this great big
world that are worth exploring. I would encourage my daughter to never stop
learning something new. I would encourage her to read, to write a blog or a
journal and to take as many classes as she wished. I would instill the
importance of being well rounded, well traveled and open minded. I would teach
her that a college degree in one field isn’t necessarily a destiny for one’s
career path. We evolve, we change, and we become interested in different
things, people and food. Embrace it. Curiosity leads to change and change can
be scary at times but also one of the most exhilarating things that happen to
us.
#4. A sense of gratitude.
I would teach my daughter to wake up everyday and say to
herself, “life is incredible.”
I would teach her to be grateful for every day she had on Earth.
For every person who was in her life and for everything she had to get through
her day. Life is too short to always want something materialistic. Our focus
should be on what we actually need, recognizing all that we already have, and
being grateful for it. This means showing gratitude and kindness to everyone in
our life, be it the mail man to the server in a restaurant to the homeless
person on the street. I would remind her that all people deserve the same
amount of respect and that everyone is part of our community and our world. I
would encourage her to live life simply and to practice gratitude everyday. If
she is grateful then I will know she will be happy every day of her life.
#5. A sense of self-worth.
Probably the most important thing you can teach any child is
a sense of self-worth. A sense that they are valuable, special and just as good
as anyone else. I would instill that they don’t have to be the smartest or the
fastest or the prettiest, but they need to believe that they are just as
important. I would teach my daughter that she has her own unique set of gifts,
talents and abilities. I would teach her to believe in herself. I would teach
her to not be intimidated by others and to be brave. I would teach her that
life will have its share of challenges and that she has all the tools she needs
in her tool belt to tackle them all. I would teach her to never give up on
her dreams or herself. I would encourage her to surround herself with people
who gave her a sense of self-worth and were positive influences.
And I would remind her every day that she is worthy of
respect, happiness and love.
